Publication: Classic Laffaday
The Eagle Has Landed | |
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Classic Laff-a-Day - March 31, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
I decided to go out for some air and then found myself
conveniently at the local golf course. I plunked down my $22
and walked the course. Unlike everyone I know, I really enjoy
golfing by myself. I can't be sure, but I think it has something
to do with my utter disgust for my fellow human beings.
Anyway, the 11th hole at this course is a short par 4. I've
driven it a couple of times, but I've never been able to sink
the putt for an eagle...Until today. I sank it and scored my
first eagle.
On the way home I called Sam, the editor of our Golf Tips
publication, to share the news.
He said, "Really, you eagled a 283 par 4?"
I said, "Yep."
He said, "Got any witnesses?"
I said, "You wife was there, but she didn't see it. Her face
was buried in my balls."
Joy-killingly,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
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A bunch of us were in the breakroom when Magilla poked his big
head in. "I need a copy of that revised report we talked about
this morning," he said to the beancounter.
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"What for? What for?" Magilla was incredulous. "To wipe your
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Chinese words for a vagina: Tongue chow
Chinese words for a smelly vagina: Tongue chow yuck
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of
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"Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too."
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One night at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were
being introduced to other members and shown around. The man
leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair
by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some
hunting stories you'll never forget."
They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a story.
"Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting
expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days
without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had
to rest my feet. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down,
propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how
long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes.
I was reaching for my gun when the biggest damn lion I’d ever
seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this: RRROOAARRR!
...........I tell you, I just shit my pants."
The young men looked astonished and one of them said, "I don't
blame you, I would have shit my pants too if a lion jumped out
at me."
The old man shook his head and said, "No, no... not back then,
just now, when I said RRROOAAARRR!"
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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