Publication: Classic Laffaday
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Classic Laff-a-Day - March 28, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
A friend of mine was telling me why his son was serving a bunch
of detentions in high school.
"They were roll playing in class, and one of the cheerleaders
was playing the part of Princess Dianna and he was playing
Prince Charles. The scenario was the first time they were
introduced. The Princess asked my son, the Prince, 'How would
you like to be addressed?' And my son, in his best British
accent said, 'with your tongue on my scrotum.'"
"Yep," I said, "I bet that would do it."
Concurringly,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
Send me your comments and jokes:
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A fellow walked into his doctor's office complaining that
he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor made a physical
examination and listened to the symptoms, and concurred with
the self-diagnosis.
"I want you to come back tomorrow to start treatment. And
bring a banana and a cookie with you." said the doctor.
Despite the seemingly odd request, our hero complied and
returned the next day with a banana and a cookie.
The doctor then said, "Okay, now drop your pants and bend over.
This is going to hurt a bit."
Although stunned by the turn of events, the patient dropped
his pants and bent over. The doctor peeled the banana and
with one deft motion rammed it up the guy's ass. While the
doctor consulted his watch, our hero danced around the room
shouting at the doctor.
"Okay, one minute is up and we have to complete the second
part of the treatment if you truly want to get rid of this
tapeworm." advised the doctor.
Despite the pain, the patient did want to be cured and so
complied with the order to bend over again. Again, the doctor
took the cookie and rammed it up the patient's ass.
"Okay, tomorrow I want to see you here at the same time, and
bring another banana and a cookie." said the doctor. The now
humbled patient, with tears of pain in his eyes, nodded his
head.
The next day, the same routine ensued. First the doctor rammed
up a banana, waited exactly one minute, then rammed up the
cookie. And the next day, and the next day and the next...
Every day up went a banana, waited one minute, then up went
the cookie.
After one full week of treatment, the doctor finally said,
"Well, tomorrow is the LAST day of treatment. I want you to
bring in a banana and a hammer."
"Not a cookie?" asked the very frightened patient, trying to
imagine what a hammer was going to feel like.
"Nope, a hammer." confirmed the doctor.
On the last day, the doctor said, "Okay, you know the routine".
So the man dropped his pants and bent over. UP went the banana,
and the doctor looked at his watch and picked up the hammer.
One minute passed. Then two minutes. Three. Four minutes passed.
Finally, the worm's little head poked out of the patient's ass.
"Hey, where's my cookie?"
**WHAM**
A man and his wife were walking through the woods together.
It was nearing dusk and the woods were beginning to look
more and more eerie. The woman finally says, "I'm scared!"
He says, "YOU'RE scared?! I have to walk out of here alone!"
Roses are red
It’s all elementary
Let’s ring up a friend
And try double entry
---Related by Clean Laffs Joe (which proves all men are pigs.)
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3 Pc. SILICONE BRUSH SET
Magilla was walking around looking for someone to write
something for him. He can’t seem to get the hang of holding
a pen, and his fingers are too big and hairy to type with.
"Where’s Lewis?"
"I dunno."
"Where’s Joe?"
"I dunno."
"Where’s that other idiot... whatshisname?"
"I dunno."
"OK, then you do it."
"I mean I just saw them all walking in the building from lunch.
They'll be up in a few seconds."
"Too late. You do it."
"Do what?" I asked.
"Write up an ad for a bookkeeper."
"I’m not good at writing and stuff."
"No shit. You got ten minutes."
"Fuck you very much," I mumbled.
"Huh?"
"I said ‘thank you very much’."
"Ten minutes, TZ..." and off he went sucking on a twig covered
in termites.
So I sent him this:
ARE YOU YOUNG AND PHOTOGENIC? Has anyone ever told you that
you have a nice set of tits? If you fit this description and
are outgoing and morally questionable--then WE WANT YOU! A
fast-paced SW suburban Internet company is looking for single,
young women eager to succeed. Use your natural skills and
talents to earn the paycheck you deserve! Email resume and
recent photo to mailto:tz@laffaday.com.
P.S. Some bookkeeping experience preferable.
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
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END OF CLASSIC LAFF-A-DAY:
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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