Publication: Classic Laffaday
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Classic Laff-a-Day - April 22, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
It was my birthday and my wife and children were all huddled
around the kitchen table singing the Happy Birthday song. It was
touching looking at their little faces in the candlelight. The
sweet innocence of youth emanating from them as they sang for
their father.
"Make a wish and blow out the candles!" they all screamed as my
wife videotaped the scene.
I closed my eyes tight, held my hands up in prayer, blew out
the candles and opened my eyes.
"It didn't work," I said. "You're all still here."
Tiredly,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
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Three blondes are sitting in a café, talking about what to get
their boyfriends for Christmas.
"It's funny," said Samantha. "Peter's balls are always cold as
ice when I blow him! I think I should get him some ball warmers
for Christmas."
"You know what?" replied Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my
Richard!"
They turn to the third blonde, Candi, and asked, "When you blow
Chris, are his balls cold, too?"
"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"
exclaimed Candi.
"You're crazy," Samantha piped up. "A good blowjob is the best
way to keep a guy! You should try it! It would make a great
Christmas gift for Chris!"
Candi says she'll think about it. The next time they meet at the
café it is Boxing Day and Candi is sporting a wicked shiner.
"Whoa!" the Jenny asked. "How did you get that black eye?"
"Chris hit me when I was blowing him," Candi said.
"What on earth for?" the Jenny asked.
"I don't know," Candi replied. "I was giving him his Christmas
present like you two suggested. I mentioned how strange it was
that his balls were so warm, when Pete and Richard's were so
cold, and he punched me."
"Sir, your daughter says she loves me, and she can't live
without me, and she wants to marry me."
"And you're asking my permission to marry her?"
"No, I'm asking you to make her leave me the fuck alone."
Hey, TZ, What's the difference between a bull dyke and an
elephant?
About 300 pounds and a flannel shirt.
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Clean Laffs Joe, Chadwick and I were washing up for lunch.
"Say, I think I’ll head over to the Japanese restaurant for
some sushi," bubbled Joe. "Any of you care to join me?"
"What," I said, "eat raw fish willingly..? Without even being
stranded on a deserted island? No thanks."
"To be sure, sushi is an acquired taste," chimed Chadwick.
"Just like scotch, caviar and pussy."
"Yeah," I said, "and if you date a woman from your family
you can try them all in one night."
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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