Publication: Classic Laffaday
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Classic Laff-a-Day - March 14, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
I am off to little league picture day. My son is in baseball,
my daughters are in softball, and my wife and I are insane.
Let me give you a run down of last night:
Daughter #1 had softball practice from 4:30 to 6:30, then a
volleyball game from 6:30 to 7:30.
Daughter #2 had softball practice from 6:15 to 8, then a
softball game from 8 to 9:45
Tonight is baseball picture day, and one of my daughters (I
don't know which) has a volley ball game after that.
My poor wife looks like a zombie and has begun talking in her
sleep. "Batter up, coach. Come on! Pound one up the middle."
I think maybe I should start taking the kids to baseball and
she can do volleyball and hand out with the women.
Sportingly,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
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I found this sight that teaches you to swear in any language.
It’s pretty damned funny. You can tell a lot about a culture by
the language they use. The below is Greek. The word I’ve chosen
is one of the cleanest listed in their language.
Pisoglentis: One who has fun with his ass.
This is Japanese.
Ahraywah ohmankogah skeeda: I enjoy pussy very much!
Note the difference in emphasis between the Greeks and the
Japanese.
You know what they call the guy who finishes last in medical
school? They call him "Doctor".
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The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in
one of their top spy hunters.
The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is
Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've
located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather forecast
calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll
answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'"
So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in one of
the small towns. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help
me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy."
The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific
because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy.
There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next
block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president of our local
savings bank. There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the
stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too."
Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the
code words on the bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast
calls for mist in the morning."
The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the spy.
He lives right down the street on the left."
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