Publication: Classic Laffaday
I'm Smaaat | |
Subscribe FREE to Classic Laffaday by clicking here.
<<<<<<<<<<<<< From the Laff-a-Day Archives >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Classic Laff-a-Day - March 18, 2008
Laffaday.com
------------------------------------------------------------
Subscribe & unsubscribe links are at the bottom of the page.
------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings Laff Lovers,
JA walked into my office and asked me to do something for him.
"Hey, you don't look too hot," I said. "Are you having trouble
regulating your blood sugar level?"
"Not really," he said.
"By the way," I said, "I read that we have made a major break-
through in Type 2 diabetes. Apparently researchers have
identified some new genes that could help determine what people
are more at risk for developing Type 2 diabetes. This should
enable high risk people to alter their eating habits early
enough to possibly stave off the disease."
"Sometimes your intellectual curiosity amazes me. TZ," he said.
"Yeah, well, I recently went through regression therapy and
found out something very interesting: in my previous life--
I was Albert Einstein...Did you know he was a Jew?"
"Umm, yes, TZ I knew he was Jewish. I guess you're like Cliff
Robertson in that movie Charly."
"What, the one where he's a retard?"
"I must go."
"See ya."
Verbatimly,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
Send me your comments and jokes:
Submit a Comment
CREDIT REPAIR CDROM
Normal Price: $24.95
DEAL PRICE: $1.99
Are you tired of being denied because of bad credit? Well
now you can repair and build your credit with the help of
this CDRom. Learn the secrets of maintaining good credit
and repairing bad credit. Eliminate the problems that can
damage your credit history.
System Requirements: Windows 95/98/ME/2000/XP... check it
out at:
Credit Repair CDRom
An avid skier decided that he would ski all the major mountains
in the world. He spent a decade at this, climbing and then skiing
the world's major peaks. Finally he decided he must ski Mt. Fuji,
in Japan. He bade farewell to his wife and set off for the Land
of the Rising Sun.
The fateful day came, the weather was right, and the skier
climbed to the top of Fuji and skied down. So thrilled was he
with his achievement that he decided to send his wife a postcard
of Mt. Fuji, describing his feat. While in the shop buying the
postcard, he decided, on a whim, to buy a postcard picturing a
young, scantily clad geisha to send to his buddy who couldn’t
make the trip.
Unfortunately, he wrote the wrong messages on the cards, and
sent them to the wrong recipients. On the back of the card
showing Mt. Fuji, which he mistakenly sent to his buddy, he
wrote: "Having fun in Japan!" And on the back of the card
showing the scantily clad geisha, which he mistakenly sent to
his wife, he wrote, "Here's a picture of the slope I went down
on Thursday."
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the
house?
A. Look inside your pants; If you have a dick, it's not time.
How do you know you're living in Tennessee?
You get married for the third time and have the same in-laws.
"My objective? Well I object to taking a girl out, you know,
and buying her dinner and then she won't put out for you."
--- Emmett Fitz-Hume (Chevy Chase) Spies Like Us
"You shouldn't put down a loser, Cindy...because you might be
one yourself someday."
--- Carol Brady, The Brady Bunch
PET BLINKERS... The Pet Safety Light
Protect Yourself & Your Pet!
Store Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
Pet Blinkers give you the added security and peace of mind
knowing you and your pet(s) are visible at night. Whether
you’re going for a jog with your pet or if you just want
extra attention, attach the Pet Blinker to your pet's collar
and be seen a half-mile away. These eye-catching LEDs
accessorize any pet. Requires three AG3 lithium cell
batteries (included).
PET BLINKERS... The Pet Safety Light
We’ve been interviewing people for a position we’ve had open
for the past couple of weeks. The powers that be usually
bring me into the process to see how thick skinned the
potential employee is. They don’t want to hire someone,
train them and belatedly discover the person has a politically
correct stick up his ass. That’s right, ol’ TZ is held up to
potential employees in the 'this is the kind of trash you’re
going to be working with' light.
So I go into this latest interview and the guy looks like he
might have potential. With these types of guys one needs to lay
it all out there. "You’re resume is impressive," I lied. "You've
had many of the same experiences a cousin on my father’s side
of the family has had." Then I looked up at him and added, "He’s
a homosexual." Then I slowly asked, "Are yooouuu a homosexual?"
The guy held my gaze and answered, "No. But I’m willing to
learn."
************************************************************
To see past issues of Classic Laffaday visit our archive at:
Classic Laffaday Archives
************************************************************
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
************************************************************
Want some FUN and AMUSEMENT in your email box F-R-E-E? Visit:
See More Award Winning Publications
____________________________________________________________
END OF CLASSIC LAFF-A-DAY:
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
Feel free to forward this, in its entirety, to others.
 E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Classic Laffaday by clicking here.
|