Publication: Classic Laffaday
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Classic Laff-a-Day - May 8, 2008
Laffaday.com
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
My coffee maker needs cleaning.
My toes need clipping.
My hair needs cutting.
No, this is not a Haiku. I'm just trying to come up with
excuses to get out of doing stuff.
Lazily,
TZ
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Send me your comments and jokes:
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AMAZING REUNION BETWEEN LION & HUMAN
from Christian The Lion DVD... This will warm your heart!
Normal Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
If you do nothing else you must click on the link below to
watch this truly heartwarming video clip that comes from an
amazing TRUE story. This double feature DVD containing Animal
Adventure starring Christian The Lion and The Great Dan Patch.
Christian the Lion (which is the video clip you will see) is the
beautiful TRUE story about Christian the Lion as he is introduced
to the wild African plains for the first time in his life. After
years of being around humans, Christian considers himself a human
too. With George Adamson, the man featured in the classic film
'Born Free'.
Then you get the bonus program 'The Great Dan Patch' about one
of the most remarkable race horses that ever lived.
Just click on the link to see this video clip, I guarantee you'll
be glad you did. And you can pick up the DVD for just $2.99.
AMAZING REUNION BETWEEN LION & HUMAN
It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but
until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric
expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original
and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up......................... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories
ORGASMING:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: IF YOU ARE:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over...................... Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If Liberace ate pussy
He'd still be with us
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith go before the judge for their divorce
hearing. The judge asks, "What are the grounds?"
Mrs. Smith says, "Cruel and inhuman punishment--He tied me to
the bed and then forced me to sing 'Jingle Bells' while he
pissed all over me."
The judge says, "Good grief! That's horrible."
She replied, "Yes your honor. He knows how much I hate that
song."
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Comes with a special click n' lock buckle and adjustable
nylon waist band up to 42". Ideal for walking, camping,
shopping, or traveling. Plus, this Fanny Pack looks fabulous
with any outfit.
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A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of
goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed
that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager
left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order
until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone
call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
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