Publication: Classic Laffaday
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Classic Laff-a-Day - April 3, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
My wife said, "You leave Jimmy Stewart alone! Don't you know
it's bad to talk about the dead? Besides, he was not gay. No
way George Bailey was gay."
"Yes he was, and they're even making a tribute film in his
honor. It's going to be called: 'Mr. Smith Goes Down on Most of
Washington.'"
I-thought-you-knew-ly,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
Send me your comments and jokes:
Submit a Comment
ACUPRESSURE MASSAGER
Relax & Energize, Revive Tired Muscles & Relieve Stress...
Normal Price: $4.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.49 - Get two for $3.98
Release stress by massaging muscles and by activating
acupressure points, which send signals to relax all the parts
of the body. They are acupressure-hard to the touch and feel
GREAT pressed into your muscles. Try them on your back, your
feet (my favorite!), and hands. They are amazing... Makes a
GREAT GIFT For Men, and Women. Great for Foot massages and foot
spur relief. Great For Stress Relief, Pregnancy Relief Foot Rub,
Back Rub, Hand Rub, Self Massage.
Using mini massage balls this massager will relax tense muscles
and stirs up circulation. It's both gentle and comfortable to use.
Pets love it too!
Plus our amazing price of this will relieve even more tension...
and we'll even discount it more if you buy more than one. Get
two and save an additional $1.00... two for $3.98
ACUPRESSURE MASSAGER
It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but
until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric
expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original
and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up......................... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories
ORGASMING:
Real................................... 112 Calories
Fake.................................. 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: IF YOU ARE:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over......................... Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual
certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human
life--so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an
archbishop so you can meet girls.
--- Matt Cartmill
"...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women..."
- A law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could
not vote.
BREEZE SUNGLASSES By Vercasi
Store Price: $59.99
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Vercasi sunglasses are created with quality materials and and
state-of-the-art Italian Design to create a sleek contemporary
collection.
The Breeze design is a classic that all women will love. With
it's deep, rich round frame the UVA and UVB protection will
ensure safety to the sun's rays.
Grab a pair or two while stock is available. See a picture
of these by visiting:
BREEZE SUNGLASSES By Vercasi
A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the Deep South.
He got a ride from a mean-looking trucker. After riding about
30 miles in silence the youth finally said, "Well, aren't you
going to ask me?"
"Ask you what?" replied the trucker.
"If I'm a boy or a girl..." answered the youth.
"Don't matter," replied the trucker, "I’m gonna fuck ya anyway."
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