Publication: Up Yours!
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UP YOURS! - Saturday, November 18, 2006
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Dear Operating Thetan wannabes,
Since the upcoming "TomKat" wedding has been getting so much
hype, a fixture in the media recently is one of film's most
popular homosexuals, Tom Cruise. And if there is one thing
that Mr. Cruise is good at, since it's clearly not acting,
it's talking about his brain-washing club Scientology.
Since I can't seem to log onto the Internet, open a magazine
or turn the television on without seeing this cakeboy
spouting on about this international pyramid scheme I decided
to do a little research to get a better feel for what these
Scientologists are about.
Scientology as a religion was started in 1955 by a group of
fanboys who had hard-ons for a science fiction author named
Lafayette R. Hubbard. It was based upon the philosophy of
Scientology which Lafayette publish in 1951, which, in turn,
grew out of his book "Dianetics" which he published in 1950.
Got all that?
To put that in perspective, it would be like a bunch of
today's pasty-faced sci-fi geeks starting a religion based
on the 'Force' and the Jedi Knights from "Star Wars." By
the way, don't any of you retards email me and tell me that
a bunch of pasty-faced sci-fi geeks already practice the
Jedi religion. What you sexless schmucks do in your parents'
basements over the Internet is not considered an organized
religion. It's just pathetic.
Anyway, since 1955 Scientology has grown to include millions
of members making up thousands of churches in over a hundred
countries.
So what is the purpose of Scientology? The purpose of
Scientology is to make money. And how does Scientology make
money? Scientology makes money by eliminating for its members
the most difficult part of religion...God.
In Scientology a person's reactive mind becomes scarred by
worldly evil and trauma, and these psychic scars are what
keep the Thetan (what passes for a soul for Scientologists)
from rising above the neuroses of common life proceeding to
a 'clear' existence.
If any of this sounds vaguely familiar it's because
Scientology apparently 'borrows' heavily from Hinduism,
Buddhism and 19th century drug addict Sigmund Freud. In
fact, the more you read about Scientology the more you
will be reminded of the 1991 movie "Defending Your Life"
starring Albert Brooks. The movie makes a lot more sense,
however.
But becoming 'clear' is not the ultimate goal of
Scientologists. After that there is something called
"Operating Thetan." Scientologists believe that an OT is
able to leave their body and mind. They can see, hear and
feel without access to their normal senses.
Well, there's nothing there to stroke the ego of a megalo-
maniac with a height complex like Tom Cruise-ing-for-man-ass,
is there?
Can you imagine an army of Operating Thetans floating around
in the astral plane, running the world in the iron grip of
stunted, homosexual messiahs? You might call it an Operating
Thetan Theocracy. You down with OTT? Yeah, you know me.
I need a drink,
Chadwick
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Up Yours! Forum
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><><><><><> CHADWICK'S FAVORITE HISTORICAL INSULTS <><><><><>
"Well, I know this: that onto this planet there's a great
deal of dumping has gone on. Stuff from the nearby galaxy -
not this galaxy but from the next galaxy over and so forth,
is going on here. I know they take political prisoners and
guys who they don't want around, but it's less personal
than you think. They just have excess population so they
start to get rid of their excess population, you see?
They've got a revolt, or you're on the wrong side of a war,
or something like that, and they pick you up in droves,
and ice-cube you and throw you into a sea someplace. I
know this planet has been subjected to that and several
planets in this immediate end of this galaxy have been
subjected to that -- that I know."
--L.R. Hubbard comment on what this planet is all about.
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER'S COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
If you could get real, you'd only be half-retarded, you ass
humping excuse for a man... oh yeah, Ma wants you home by 10.
--Walt
[If I were half-retarded then I'd be twice as smart as you,
shit-stain.]
your lesbian/homo rap reminded me of a college-aged girl who
travelled to australia a few years back and found the men
refreshingly brute-ish...they were men who acted like men
and treated women like women...she complained about the men
in the usa being too 'wimp-ish' in comparison...my reaction?
YOU STUPID CUNT !!! that's what men were like here too,
until the mom's of the usa decided to raise generation after
generation of 'sensitive / caring' boys and bred the oaf-ish-
nedss out of us...and the funny thing about women you date..
the quickest way to lose them and their respect is to become
what they 'think' they want you to be. --renfield
[I won't necessarily argue with this. However, your punctua-
tion sucks. Learn how to write.]
Dear Chadwick; Do you think women in a harem lay around and
give each other oral sex when their man isn't around? Men
have interesting fantasies. --Nancy
[What? You mean they don't?]
Part of that ad you sent out monday said, "....caution you
not to shoot the Airsoft pellet gun at cats......." You
should not shoot those things at cats! How about illegal
aliens? --Dave
[Nope. The AirSoft is much too weak.]
I totally agree with what you said about why guys dig
lesbians. I may not be a guy, but it is so hot to see two
chicks going at it. A naked woman is beautiful, but guys
naked just looking kind of awkward. Don't get me wrong, I
love a dick in the mix. But my girlfriend's strap on works
the same, and she tastes much better when she cums. That
is another thing, when a guy gets off- there is a lot of
gagging/choking (not very sexy), but when my girlfriend
gets there- I just can't get enough. Just thinking about
it makes me horney... Also, what is hotter then two pairs
of huge tits bouncing up and down together?? I need to go
fuck my girlfriend- what to join us Chadwick? Love Dani
[No thanks. I've done fine without herpes so far and I see
no reason to change my condition.]
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Is that the dim spark of an idea in your brain? Don't let it
go to waste! Send it to: Email Chadwick
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