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I Now Pronounce You...Business Partners | |
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SoHo NEWS & TIPS
Helping You Make the Most of Your Small Office/Home Office
SoHoTIPS.com
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Comment The Post Below...
Greetings,
Today's article focuses on the challenges and rewards of
having your spouse as your business partner. If you work
with your spouse or another family member, this is a great
article for you to read.
Best,
Mandi
Be sure to visit the SoHo News and Tips blog!
SoHo News & Tips Blog
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NEWS & TIDBITS
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I Now Pronounce You...Business Partners
By Jeff D. Opdyke
After 14 years of marriage and more than two
decades together, I've discovered a side to my
wife, Amy, I've never seen: no-nonsense business
dominatrix.
Just recently we bought an investment property
together -- a 1930s-era cottage in a regentrifying
neighborhood near downtown. Our plan is to operate
the house as a rental unit.
For years I've known my wife possesses some
business acumen. After all, she has worked herself
up from registered nurse to chief operating officer
of a specialty surgery center. And we've certainly
chatted about our respective jobs over the years.
I just never saw that business acumen up close.
Now, however, I'm seeing firsthand what Amy the
Business Woman is like. And frankly, it's a bit
unsettling. She's more demanding than I've ever
seen her. What she tolerates in our personal life
is suddenly unacceptable in our business life.
And she isn't shy about saying so.
The result is that while we've been partners for
half of our lives, this is unfamiliar ground for
both of us. I thought that I knew everything there
was to know about my wife, and that we'd interact
in business just as we do in everyday situations.
But instead, we're like newlyweds, uncertain of
what to expect and learning to navigate money and
relationship issues from a whole new perspective.
When it comes to relationships, I've discovered,
you don't really know your partner until you get
down to business.
* * *
It's nothing personal; it's just business.
We've all heard that cliché. But what happens when
the operation of a business is, by definition,
personal? Maybe two spouses work together. Maybe
it's siblings. Maybe kids and parents. Whatever the
situation, every move, every word, every decision
carries the burden of your relationship. Everything
you know about the other person -- temperament, pet
peeves, work ethic -- colors your perception of
their actions.
Expectations also are different than they'd be
with a regular business partner. Maybe a father
expects his son will operate the family business
as he does; maybe a sibling business partner
assumes she has a certain flexibility in her
schedule; maybe a spouse thinks that part of the
fun of going into business together is that they
can goof off together. These expectations all may
be correct -- or horribly off base. But the point
is this: A family business venture can be both
blessing and curse -- a wonderful melding of the
personal and professional...or a disaster waiting
to happen.
My friend Grace has worked for her brother on and
off over the years. She has even been fired by him.
While there are certainly upsides to a relationship-
based work arrangement, Grace has come to see the
downside of working with, or for, family members:
The person you love is not always the person you
find at the office.
Conversations Grace had with her brother before
they teamed up no longer happened. She felt reluct-
ant to just walk into his office to chat. She was
pushed into jobs that, in any other circumstance,
she never would have pursued. In short, Grace lost
her brother when she gained a boss.
Continued below....
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Today, Grace's philosophy on working with family
is generally "don't do it."
"I love my brother as my brother, not as my boss,"
she says. "Think about it: We all harbor terrible
thoughts at some time about our bosses. I didn't
like having those thoughts about my big brother,
whom I worshiped as a kid."
* * *
I don't want to create the wrong impression. Amy
and I aren't disagreeing about how to run our
partnership. We are on the same page when it comes
to our goals, as well as how to reach those goals.
No, the difference is more one of style and
attitude. For me, this is largely about doing
something with the woman I love. The fact that it's
a business venture is secondary.
Amy sees it differently. I told her recently that
"I'm beginning to see you as very Trump-like in
this business." She giggled, then said, "It's our
money at stake, and I take that very seriously.
You just happen to be my partner."
Compounding the problem is that as life partners,
we're used to our different personalities. We've
come to accept them. As business partners, we
aren't quite there yet. Amy is quintessential Type
A -- so meticulously organized, she'll make a list
of tasks, complete one not on that list, then add
it to the list after she's done.
Me, I'm so not Type A. I scribble notes onto my
palm -- and I'm lucky to remember they're there
two minutes later. I'm good at completing tasks,
I just do so on my own schedule. I meet deadlines,
but I work best under the pressure of a pressing
deadline, not when I have days and weeks to toy
with a project. That drives Amy nuts.
Just the other day we drove to the house after the
current owner moved out. I wanted to inspect what
items we might need to address before we hunt for
a renter. Amy wanted to go with pruning shears and
tools and start work immediately on grooming the
backyard and repairing a screen. She was annoyed
that I rebuffed her efforts.
"I'm not trying to be domineering," she later told
me when I interviewed her for this column. "It's
just that I have a business to run, and I'm not
laissez-faire about it. We're accountable to each
other for our success, and I want to make sure it
is a success. If that means I take the reins because
that's not your style, then that's what I'm going
to do. I'm not like that in our home life because
there's a difference between home and business. But
what we're doing is a business. So what you're see-
ing is me switching between those two roles."
She ended by telling me, "People at work know that
what they tell me to get done will get done. So I
have those same expectations of you; I expect you
to be on task with our business."
She has a point.
Yet no matter what, we are who we are, and as a
married couple we can't axe each other as a part-
ner in this business. If we're to succeed, then,
we both realize we must map a middle ground that
plays to our individual strengths. Amy's organ-
izational skills allow her to run the business
very efficiently, and I cede that power to her.
My work ethic and my ability to complete tasks
fast under pressure means she knows she can rely
on me to do what needs to be done, though it
needn't necessarily be done weeks in advance just
because the thought pops into her head.
In the end, it is just business. But it's also all
too personal.
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JEFF D. OPDYKE is a Staff Reporter of The Wall
Street Journal.
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DID YOU KNOW?
Some credit-card processing companies have restrict-
ions that prevent them from authorizing certain
types of businesses. If you fall into any of these
categories, be aware that you might haave to do a
little more shopping around to get a good deal:
home-based businesses, mail-order firms, start-up
businesses and business done primarily over the
phone.
So what did you think about this issue? Drop me a line and let
me know at mandi@gophercentral.com
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Copyright 2006 PENN L.L.C. All rights reserved.
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