Publication: Mouthpiece
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T H E . M O U T H P I E C E Tuesday, March 18, 2008
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Good Afternoon,
Here's a great joke that had me busting-a-gut.
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview
an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the
old man to tell him the most frightening experience he
had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting bengal tigers
in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my
faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the
largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in
front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the
native had fled. The tiger lept toward me with a mighty
ROARRRR! I soiled myself."
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone
would have done the same."
The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I
went 'ROARRRR!'"
Good stuff, eh?
Mouthing Off,
Carl
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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"This morning, President Bush gave an optimistic speech
about the economy even though the dollar fell even more,
oil hit record highs, and jobs continued to be lost. So
when asked what part of the economy is working, Bush said,
'Hookers are doing well'."
- Conan O'Brien
"According to The New York Times, prosecutors suspect
that Gov. Eliot Spitzer may have used money from his
campaign fund to pay for his prostitute. When reached
for comment, Spitzer said, 'To be fair, I did get her
vote'."
- Conan Brien
"The Pentagon just published a report that officially
confirms that there was never any link between Saddam
Hussein and al-Qaida. The report is entitled 'Oops...
Our Bad'."
- Conan O'Brien
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What's On the Web?
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OBSCURE HORROR
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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Signs Your College Basketball Team Is
Not Going To Make The NCAA Basketball Tournament
10. When team makes a basket, everyone hugs and squeals,
"Yipee!"
9. Players look like the fat guy from "Lost"
8. Coach keeps pronouncing NCAA "NICKAHHHHH
7. Before hitting the court, team eats lovely meal of
fettuccine alfredo
6. They spend timeouts discussing who will win "American
Idol"
5. Team let shot clock expire because they enjoy the buzz
4. School's mascot is a giant asthma inhaler
3. Players regularly leave the game early to beat traffic
2. Point guard is leading the league in hernias
1. They score less than Eliot Spitzer
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t h e . m o u t h p i e c e
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