Publication: Mouthpiece
Crazy Thoughts | |
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T H E . M O U T H P I E C E Monday, March 31, 2008
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Good Afternoon,
I've always been a lucky guy. I always get all green lights
going to and from work. I always get the last piece of
cake. I win football pools almost every week. Whenever I
take my coat out of the closet to get ready for winter I
always find a five dollar bill in one of the pockets.
You might be asking yourself, "How did I get so lucky?"
Well, when I was five I had a terrible sinus infection.
I was sneezing like crazy, my eyes wouldn't stop watering
and if I blew my nose nothing would come out.
Then one day I sneezed so hard that a die shot out of my
nose and showed a seven. After that my sinuses cleared up
and the lucky streak began. Oh, and I figured out why my
family never played Yahtzee ever again.
Mouthing Off,
Carl
email Mouthpiece
Viral Videos on the Net at www.EVTV1.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Mouthpiece forum. Check it out here...
The Mouthpiece Forum
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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Barack Obama is back from his vacation in the Virgin
Islands. He played a lot of shuffleboard while he was
there. He's pretty smart — he's doing that in case John
McCain challenges him to a duel."
- Jay Leno
"Tragic news today — Herb Peterson passed away. He was the
creator of the Egg McMuffin. He was 89. He said the secret
to a long life was to never eat Egg McMuffins."
- Jimmy Kimmel
"Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out
of middle age."
- William Feather
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PET BLINKERS... The Pet Safety Light
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Pet Blinkers give you the added security and peace of mind
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extra attention, attach the Pet Blinker to your pet's
collar and be seen a half-mile away. These eye-catching
LEDs accessorize any pet. Requires three AG3 lithium cell
batteries (included). PET BLINKERS... The Pet Safety Light
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What's On the Web?
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CENTIPEDE
"Designed by Ed Logg and Dona Bailey, Centipede was the
first arcade game from a woman designer. Colorful graphics
and ingenious game play made Centipede the first game to
attract more female fans than male."
Visit: CENTIPEDE
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CRAZY THOUGHTS
Life's unanswered questions. See if you can discover the
solutions to such inquiries as "If electricity comes from
electrons, does morality come from morons?" and "Can mute
people burp?".
Visit: CRAZY THOUGHTS
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TOM & JERRY'S GREATEST CHASES on DVD
Get almost two hours of the crazy and fun antics of
Tom & Jerry on one DVD. You get 14 of their greatest
chases which guarantees you more tail-stomping, anvil-
dropping, teeth-shattering action from the masters of
animated slapstick. And at just $9.99 it makes a great
gift. Check it out at: Tom & Jerry Greatest Chases
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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
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** Top Ten Signs That You're Not Romantic **
10. You ask the waiter for a seat near the kitchen so it
minimizes the time it takes for your food to arrive.
9. She doesn't like the "I'm The Property of Jason" t-shirt
you got her for your anniversary.
8. You take your date out for dinner that consists of a
coupon for free nachos and half price on drinks.
7. Her candlelight dinners really irritate you 'cause it's
so hard to read the sports-page while eating.
6. You apologize with a dozen dandelions.
5. After a romantic dinner, you offer to do the dishes by
letting the dog lick the plates.
4. You consider pig latin the "language of love".
3. Some say it with flowers, you say it with spark-plugs.
2. When your boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed,
you said, "Shhh!... talk to me during the commercial."
1. "I thought cubic zerconia looked prettier than real
diamonds."
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t h e . m o u t h p i e c e
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