Publication: Mouthpiece
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T H E . M O U T H P I E C E Wednesday, May 7, 2008
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Good Afternoon,
If a dog is man's best friend then what is a dog's best
friend? What do you think? Is it a steak or a squeak toy?
I'm just a curious fellow.
Mouthing Off,
Carl
email Mouthpiece
Viral Videos on the Net at www.EVTV1.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Mouthpiece forum. Check it out here...
The Mouthpiece Forum
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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"On Long Island, a Dunkin' Donuts employee has been
arrested because he placed a hidden camera in a Dunkin
Donuts bathroom. As punishment, he's been sentenced to
five years in a Taco Bell bathroom."
- Conan O'Brien
"John McCain admitted today that he didn't vote for George
Bush. He did vote for George Washington, however."
- Craig Ferguson
"Today is Cinco de Mayo. Earlier today, Roger Clemens
tested positive for salsa."
- David Letterman
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PATIO UMBRELLA LIGHT
Instant Light For Your Patio Table...
Normal Price: $24.99
DEAL PRICE: $12.99
INSTANT LIGHT FOR YOUR PATIO TABLE! Enjoy your outdoor
adventures well into the night by attaching this handy
light to you patio umbrella pole. Durable light contains
6 super bright LED lights that provides hours of illumin-
ation perfect for dining, playing cards or just sitting
around enjoying the evening with friends and family.
No assembly required. Simply snaps into place. Fits all
patio umbrella poles or other supports from ¾" to 2" in
diameter... and with cordless convenience. Uses thee (3)
AAA batteries - Not Included - but we have a great deal
on our site for them. When you add this item to your cart
you will see the special price for the AAA Batteries.
Check it out at: PATIO UMBRELLA LIGHT
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What's On the Web?
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THE BASEBALL CUBE
Here's a great site devoted to America's favorite pastime.
The Baseball Cube (TBC) is an online archive of player
statistics from Amateur, College, Minor League, and Major
League baseball.
Visit: THE BASEBALL CUBE
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RARE ANTIQUE TELEPHONES
In this era of new technology, it is easy to forget the
larger origins of the telephone. Check out this online
exhibit of both common and rare antique phones.
Visit: RARE ANTIQUE TELEPHONES
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DIGITAL DESKTOP WEATHER STATION
Normal Price: $19.99
OUR PRICE: $9.99
Get two for $13.98
Check current weather conditions right from your desktop
with the Digital Desktop Weather Station by Journey's Edge.
This compact, but powerful, unit stands up on a desk or
table to display the current temperature, humidity and moon
phase and more.
Features Include:
- Displays Current Weather Conditions
- Displays The Moon Phase
- A built-in calendar displays time & date
- 12/24 hour time format
- Built-in alarm clock.
- Temperature settings: Fahrenheit & Centigrade
- Humidity Display.
- Easy to operate control buttons
- And YES, A Battery IS Included.
Get one for $9.99 or save an additional $6.00 and get
two (2) for $13.98. DIGITAL DESKTOP WEATHER STATION
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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Resume blunders:
(From actual resumes as reported by Fortune magazine)
"I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive
experience."
"I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheat
progroms"
"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
"Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave."
"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institu-
tions."
"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
"It's best for employers that I not work with people."
"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a
horse."
"I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free
to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."
"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
"As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing invest-
ments."
"Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so
far."
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest
chain store."
"Marital status: often. Children: various."
"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all
employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not
work under those conditions."
"Finished eighth in my class of ten."
"References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind
me."
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The Mouthpiece Archives
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t h e . m o u t h p i e c e
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END OF THE MOUTHPIECE - http://www.gophercentral.com
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