Publication: Laff A Day
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LAFF A DAY - Wednesday, May 14, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
I was showing off to my kids by reciting the preamble to the
constitution. They were thoroughly impressed, just like they
are when I know all the words to old songs on the radio.
They were soon distracted and went off to do something else,
when my wife said, "Wow, TZ! I'm going to start calling you
Thomas Paine."
"Don't kid yourself," I said. "Everything I know about the
constitution and the English language I learned from those
Schoolhouse Rocks cartoons. I'd be really smart if they would
have been able to come up with rhymes for math and science."
Conjunction-junctionally,
TZ
"Celebrity birthdays: Dennis Rodman and Harvey Keitel. Not
only are they born on the same day, they're both ex-boy-
friends of Madonna. What are the chances? Actually, pretty
good if you think about it." -Craig Ferguson
Welcome Back To Some Old Friends... Welcome Back Kotter!
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A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she
collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans
to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few
minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying over here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found
a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here," she asks
feebly?
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already
agreed to let him play through."
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
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A farmer went to the local bank to borrow money for a new
bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money,
came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.
The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and
wouldn't even look at a cow.
Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a
look at the bull.
Next week, Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped.
The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all
of my cows! He broke through the fence, and bred all my
neighbor's cows! He's been breeding just about everything in
sight. He's like a machine!"
"Wow," said Banker Bill, "what did the vet do to that bull?"
"Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer.
"What kind of pills?" asked Banker Bill.
"I don't know, but they kind of taste like peppermint."
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
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To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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