Publication: Laff A Day
I'll tell you I love you. | |
Subscribe FREE to Laff A Day by clicking here.
LAFF A DAY - Monday, May 5, 2008
*************************************************************
Greetings Laff Lovers,
One of my wife's friends is a lesbian. One day we got to
talking and I asked her did she ever wonder what it would
be like to have children. She said that the one thing she
regretted about her sexual orientation was that she might
never be a mother.
She's a good looking lady, and I said slyly that if she ever
wanted to be impregnated I'd be happy to help out, purely
altruistically, of course.
She shot me a death ray look, and told me with a curling
lip that if she ever decided to reproduce, it would be by
artificial insemination.
"No problem," I replied, "If you want artificial, I'll tell
you I love you."
Obligingly,
TZ
What kind of sign does a prostitute hang on her door when she
goes on vacation?
'Go Fuck Yourself.'
PATIO UMBRELLA LIGHT
Instant Light For Your Patio Table...
Normal Price: $24.99
DEAL PRICE: $12.99
INSTANT LIGHT FOR YOUR PATIO TABLE! Enjoy your outdoor
adventures well into the night by attaching this handy light
to you patio umbrella pole. Durable light contains 6 super
bright LED lights that provides hours of illumination perfect
for dining, playing cards or just sitting around enjoying the
evening with friends and family.
No assembly required. Simply snaps into place. Fits all patio
umbrella poles or other supports from ¾" to 2" in diameter…and
with cordless convenience. Uses thee (3) AAA batteries - Not
Included - but we have a great deal on our site for them. When
you add this item to your cart you will see the special price
for the AAA Batteries. Visit: PATIO UMBRELLA LIGHT
"It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honor," testified
the man charged with indecent exposure.
"Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge.
"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she
asked me what I wanted most in a woman -- so I showed her."
"Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without
being good at them." --Jimmy DeMaret
AMAZING REUNION BETWEEN LION & HUMAN
from Christian The Lion DVD... This will warm your heart!
Normal Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
If you do nothing else you must click on the link below to
watch this truly heartwarming video clip that comes from an
amazing TRUE story. This double feature DVD containing Animal
Adventure starring Christian The Lion and The Great Dan Patch.
Christian the Lion (which is the video clip you will see) is the
beautiful TRUE story about Christian the Lion as he is introduced
to the wild African plains for the first time in his life. After
years of being around humans, Christian considers himself a human
too. With George Adamson, the man featured in the classic film
'Born Free'.
Then you get the bonus program 'The Great Dan Patch' about one
of the most remarkable race horses that ever lived.
Just click on the link to see this video clip, I guarantee you'll
be glad you did. And you can pick up the DVD for just $2.99.
AMAZING REUNION BETWEEN LION & HUMAN
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest
and room-service at a fine hotel in Mexico City.
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??
G: Uh, yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July den?
G: What?
RS: Ow July den? Pry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ow July dee bayhcem--crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An san tos?
G: What?
RS: San tos. July San tos?
G: I don't think so
RS: No? Judo one toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
"judo one toes means."
RS: Toes! toes! Why djew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish
mopping we bother?
G: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying "Toast."
Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
G: No, just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter--just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy, tea, mill?
G: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.
RS: One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease
baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh,
and copy--rye?
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G: You're welcome.
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here...
Laffaday Forum
------------------------------------------------------------
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
------------------------------------------------------------
To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
____________________________________________________________
END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
 E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Laff A Day by clicking here.
|