Publication: Laff A Day
Keep that thing out of me! | |
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LAFF A DAY - Friday, May 9, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
Have you heard the news? Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, the
couple from Arkansas with the huge family, have just an-
nounced that Michelle is pregnant with their eighteenth
(that's 18th) child.
Now, they're Christians, and I am certainly not the person
to criticize someone's religion or tell them how to live
their lives. From what I've seen on TV and read online all
of the Duggar children are healthy and well cared for. The
family seems stable so who is to say they can't have 18
kids?
But you have to imagine that sometimes poor Michelle is
just begging to blow ol' Jim Bob.
Contraception may be a sin but I would think she would try
to keep his man-juice out of her hoo-ha by whatever means
available. Which would be kind of a nice role reversal.
Could you imagine your wife begging to blow you? "Please,
Honey! Let me just suck you off tonight, for the love of
God!"
Because I can't.
Unimaginably,
TZ
"According to a new survey one out of five New Yorkers is
obese. As a result New York is thinking of changing its
name to Wisconsin." --Conan O'Brien
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Combining standard and 5x magnification sides, the 2-sided
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The Ultimate 5X Magnifying Mirror
Joan had invited her younger sister, Nancy, to leave her
country home and come to the city for a weekend to see how
the urban half lived. She also arranged for a friend of
hers named Bill to take Nancy out for a night on the town.
After a pleasant dinner and a show, Bill and Nancy went to
Bill's apartment for a nightcap. They talked and listened
to soft music for a pleasant interlude; then Bill suggested
they retire to the bedroom.
"Oh, no," Nancy protested. "I don't think my sister would
like it."
"Nonsense," said Bill, as he gently took her arm. "She loves
it."
"You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are
the ones you want to concentrate on." --George W. Bush
[Who ever said our president is an idiot?]
SUNSHINE PROJECTION NIGHT LIGHT
You have to see it in action... the ultimate cool item...
Normal Price: $12.99
DEAL PRICE: $8.99 or $15.98 for two
If you're looking for something that is very cool and very
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has a built-in light sensor that turns it on automatically at
nighttime or if the room is dark, and off when there is light.
The night light projects a cool color-morphing sunshine-effect
light show on your wall! It cycle through 7 different colors
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What's more is it is completely cool to the touch. These energy
saving night lights draw only a fraction of the electricity of a
4 watt bulb, and the LEDs will last up to 10 years.
Plus it has a soft glow; not too bright and not too dim. Great for
your home, office, or when you travel to add a little colorful
ambience to the room. Plugs into any standard 110v U.S. outlet.
To see a picture of this item, visit:
SUNSHINE PROJECTION NIGHT LIGHT
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean,
life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you
get in the end of it? Death. What's that...a bonus? I think
the life cycle is all backwards.
(1) You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it
out of the way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling
better every day.
(2) You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect
your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold
watch on your first day.
(3) You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy
your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, play golf,
you're generally promiscuous (hey, you've only got a few
years left, what's the big deal?!?) and you get ready for
High School.
(4) Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you
play, you have no responsibilities, and, finally, you become
a baby;
(5) The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating
peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
service on tap, larger quarters everyday, then you finish
off as an orgasm!
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
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More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
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END OF LAFF A DAY
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