Publication: Laff A Day
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LAFF A DAY - Wednesday, April 16, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
Wow! Relief. The doctor's office called back to say it was
just a rash, probably from wearing my pants too tight. I can
only imagine what I would have had to say to the wife.
I-knew-it-was-nothing-ly,
TZ
A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts
are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three
kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like
melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice
but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, see them and they make you cry."
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A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises
are there?"
The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes
through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is
like an oak, mighty and hard.
In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but
reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."
PRESIDENTIAL BLOOPERS DVD
Store Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
I guess you could call this "the not so great moments of the
Presidents"!
If you think it's funny when people fall down, it's even funnier
when Presidents do it. This collection of Presidential bloopers
presents those rare instances where the "leader of the free world"
generally makes a fool of himself.
From Gerald Ford to Bill Clinton it's a piece of history that will
have you laughing. PRESIDENTIAL BLOOPERS DVD
According to a news report, a certain private school in
Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A
number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick
and would put it on in the Bathroom. That was fine, but
after they put on their lipstick they would press their
lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the
next day the girls would put them back. Finally the
principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there
with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip
prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who
had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine
the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the
mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls
how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the
toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
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More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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