Publication: Laff A Day
Chivalry isn't dead yet. | |
Subscribe FREE to Laff A Day by clicking here.
LAFF A DAY - Friday, May 16, 2008
*************************************************************
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I was getting on the elevator today when I saw a rather
solidly-built, middle-aged woman struggling through the
front door of the building, obviously in a hurry.
So taking pity on her I held the door open until she could
get through the lobby and make it to the elevator.
"Oh, thank you!" she said breathlessly. "It's so nice to
see men are still willing to do a favor for a lady."
"No problem," I answered. "Chivalry isn't dead yet."
She grunted at me, "If it isn't then it's nearly dead.
These days it seems you can't get a man's attention unless
you're showing off huge boobs."
"Don't be too jealous," I said, "my wife has big tits and
I usually ignore her."
Consolingly,
TZ
"I want to begin with some kudos to the Supreme Court. Today
they ruled it was illegal for states to execute 16 and
17-year-old criminals. Now you will recall three years ago
they also deemed it unconstitutional to execute the retarded.
And I just want to take this opportunity to thank the United
States Supreme Court for everything that it's doing to keep
our show's core fan base alive." --Jon Stewart
Don't Take Any Chances When It Comes to Your Health
Why Monitoring Blood Pressure at Home Is Important
Normal Price: $59.99
DEAL PRICE: $29.99
The North American Healthcare Association has shown that
monitoring blood pressure in the comfort of your own home
provides a more accurate reading by avoiding the stressful
environment of the doctor's office.
Now for under $30 you can get the Wristech Blood Pressure
Monitor which will provide a completely safe and accurate
blood pressure reading without leaving your home. Don't let
the stress and hassle of the Dr's office affect the readings
of your pressure. Use the Wristech Blood Pressure Monitor.
Visit: Wristech Blood Pressure Monitor
When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day
after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just
how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it," replied the stunned
surgeon. "You're the first one ever to ask that after a
tonsillectomy."
Two guys talking in a bar: "I can't break my wife of the
habit of staying up until four in the morning."
"What is she doing 'til four a.m?" the pal asked.
"Waiting for me to get home."
HOME SECURITY DOOR ALARM
Store Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99 or get two for $15.98
When you see this you'll wonder... how the heck does this work?
It's a door alarm that ANYONE can install... without any special
wiring, on any non-metallic door.
This handy device will sound an instant ear piercing alarm if
anyone touches your door knob. The 2-in-1 Alarm is great
protection against unwanted visitors.
Best of all, besides the price, is No Wiring Needed!
And if you're like me and wonder how it does work, visit the
site and click on the link to watch the short video. Grab one
or save even more and get two. Visit:
2 in 1 Home Security Door Alarm
Two elderly Irish drinking buddies are sitting at the pub
pondering on the future.
One says to the other, "You know Mr. O'Shea, we've had great
sport together for many years. It just came to mind that
should it be I who should happen to go first, it would mean
a great deal to me if you would say a few kind words at me
grave."
The other friend responds, "That I'll do, Mr.O'Donnel, that
I'll do. But should it be I who should happen to go first,
for old times sake I'd be forever grateful if you would pour
a bottle of fine Irish whiskey over me grave."
The friend responds, "That I'll do. That I'll do. But would
you mind it so much if it should happen to pass through me
kidneys first?"
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
------------------------------------------------------------
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
------------------------------------------------------------
To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
____________________________________________________________
END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
 E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Laff A Day by clicking here.
|