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One of the biggest drawbacks of parenthood. | |
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LAFF A DAY - Monday, April 21, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
For those of you who still do not have kids let me point out
one of the biggest drawbacks of parenthood. Eventually you
have to spend time with your children.
I literally spent all day Saturday driving them around to
buy school supplies, clothes, sports equipment and, of course,
plenty of food and snacks and drinks, punctuated by multiple
stops for potty breaks.
What should have been three hours worth of shopping turned
into an eight hour marathon.
I'm going to get the wife for saddling me with this one.
Paternally,
TZ
"Hillary Clinton says she's pro-guns and she likes to hunt
ducks. Hillary says she actually shot a duck. She was mad
at the duck because it had an affair with a chubby intern."
-David Letterman
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A famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions
when a caller asked, "Doctor, I'd like to know why men
always want to marry a virgin?"
To which the doctor handily replied, "To avoid criticism!"
"Forbidden Kingdom opens today. Jet Li and Jackie Chan star.
It's about fighting and time travel. I did my share of time
travel. I had a device that sent me hurdling through time.
It's called tequila. I would drink this potion and wake up
three days into the future." -Craig Ferguson
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Why do men die first?
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries,
but, now we know...
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her
from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework .. you're a pansy.
If you work too hard... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay... this is
exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay... you
should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her... that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you... it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet... it's male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't... you're insensitive.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...
you're a pervert.
If you don't... you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape...
you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape... you're vain.
If you don't... you're a slob.
If she has a headache... she's tired.
If you have a headache... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often... you're oversexed.
If you don't... there must be someone else.
Bottom Line... Men die first because they want to.
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
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More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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