Publication: Laff A Day Something crawled up there and died. | |
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LAFF A DAY - Tuesday, April 15, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
I walked into the bathroom today and heard Clean Laffs Joe's
distinctive grunts and groans coming from inside the toilet
stall. The stench was unbearable. I actually had to turn
around and walk out of the bathroom.
I went back to my desk and wrote a short note on a piece of
paper and went back to the bathroom. Pulling my shirt up
over my nose I went in and slipped the note under the stall
door.
Apparently recognizing my shoes, Joe said, "Hey, Larry Craig,
what's with the note? I don't bat for that team."
"It's the name and number of a good gastroenterologist." I
answered. "You need fucking medical help, man."
By the way, not that you folks need a reminder, but today is
the fifteenth, tax day. And if you're still working on your
taxes on the afternoon of April fifteenth, you're fucked.
Helpfully,
TZ
"I hate to be the one to remind you, but it is tax time.
Are you ready? Well, you know when something like this
happens New Yorkers always try to put the best face they
can on a situation. For example the hookers in Times
Square, for an extra $50 they will handle your extension."
—David Letterman
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"Strange times we live in. A town in Florida with a street
named 'Gay Avenue' is changing its name because a resident
says people automatically thought he was gay. He wants the
new name of the street to be 'I Ain't No Homo Lane'."
--Conan O'Brien
The American Medical Association researchers have made a
remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing
blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood
rather than human blood.
It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.
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The Down Side of Cubicles:
* Being told to "Think outside the box"' when I'm in the
fucking box all day?
* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first
seeing who is behind me.
* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from
any kind of gunfire.
* That nagging feeling that if I press the right button,
I will get a piece of cheese.
* Lack of rafters for the noose.
* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work
right.
* Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip
without comment.
* Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants
off.
* 23 power cords, 1 outlet.
* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
* When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
* Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
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To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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