Publication: Laff A Day
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LAFF A DAY - Friday, April 11, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
The weekend at last! I was getting a little sick and tired
of pretending to work all week. It's not easy coming up
with ways to look busy five or six hours a day. Sometimes
I actually do some work just to break up the monotony.
But I'm looking forward to two solid days of ignoring the
kids and avoiding the wife. Lately she has been trying to
get me to go to church with her and the brood on Sundays.
Without golf as an excuse I've had to get creative in order
to stay home and enjoy the two hours of solitude.
Last Sunday I locked myself in the bathroom and told her
that her Saturday night goulash gave me the shits. Maybe
this Sunday I'll tell her I'm suffering from a touch of
priapism. Whether she believes me or asks me to prove it,
I come out a winner.
Turgidly,
TZ
"Golf is a national pastime in Scotland. It's the same as
baseball here. Except the balls are dimpled. Well, they're
dimpled in baseball too...but that's the steroids."
-Craig Ferguson
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A young camper at summer camp asked the chaplain if "hard on"
was hyphenated.
The chaplain replies, "What in heaven's name are you writing
home about!"
The young boy says, "I'm telling Mom and Dad about the pro-
ject we worked so 'hard on'."
"Last night in New York, Elton John held a fundraiser for
Sen. Hillary Clinton. The concert was a huge success raising
$2.5 Million for Hillary's campaign. Elton sang all of his
biggest hits for Hillary — except for 'The Bitch is Back.'"
-Conan O'Brien
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A man, while playing on the front nine of a confusing golf
course, became lost as to where he was on the course.
Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He
walked up to her, explained his predicament and asked her
if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind
me, so you must be on the 6th hole."
He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine
the same thing happened; and he approached her again with
the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are
one hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."
Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He
finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw
the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the
bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she
was a sales lady and played the course often.
He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in ap-
preciation for your help. I understand that you are in the
sales profession. I'm in sales, too. What do you sell?"
She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."
"No, I won't."
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.
She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a sales-
man for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
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More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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