Publication: Laff A Day
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LAFF A DAY - Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
My wife asked me what I want for my upcoming 44th birthday.
"I want the entire series of the Annie Leibovitz collection
of Miley Cyrus photographs for our bedroom."
"But they are creepy--especially the ones with her father."
"OK, then I want a new Cleveland CG-14 56 degree sand wedge
with 14 degrees of bounce."
I'll-more-use-out-of-itly,
TZ
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter
speed so fast they now can photograph a woman with her
mouth shut.
IONIC AIR PURIFIER & IONIZER
Enjoy fresher, cleaner and healthier air...
Store Price: $39.99
DEAL PRICE: $19.99
The EPA estimates that indoor air at home may be up to 10 times
more polluted than the air outside. The Ionic Air purifier works
silently and effectively to reduce airborne irritants, allergens
and pollutants - dust, pollen, cigarette smoke, pet dander,
unpleasant odors and more that can irritate eyes, nose, throat
and cause headaches, dizziness and increased asthma attacks.
Plus this model is energy efficient and cleans the air 24 hours
a day using very little electricity. It features a permanent
filter which is easy to clean and never has to be replaced so
there are no expensive filters to buy. Fits easily in any room.
- Energy efficient - No need to replace filters
- Low, high settings - Easy to use-one touch operation
- Only 12"H x 4"W, - Small but powerful
See a picture or order this MUST HAVE item for your home. Visit:
IONIC AIR PURIFIER & IONIZER
At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to
bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78 - If you can get her out of bed, that's another story!
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, 'cause he was gay.
THROW THAT OLD BULKY AND SCRATCHED CHOPPING BOARD AWAY...
IT'S TIME FOR THE SPACE AGE FLEXIBLE CHOPPING MAT
Developed by scientists and used only by the finest chefs of
the world... You too can make the revolutionary Flexible
Chopping Mat a part of YOUR kitchen.
Perfect for cutting and chopping, the futuristic surface won't
dull knives. Not only will it protect your countertops it also
provides a sanitary work surface. Great for camping, boating,
picnics and RV's. You can even fold the sides and it becomes a
funnel... great for your veggies. Oh yeah, did we mention its
dishwasher safe and FDA approved. Don't wait get two (2)
Flexible Chopping Mats for JUST $2.99 when you visit below:
Flexible Chopping Mats
A little old lady from North Carolina had worked in and
around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to
walk with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery
stores, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the
best slogan/rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best
of all..."
She said, "I know all about milk and dairy farms... I can
do this!"
She sent in her entry and about a week later a black limo
drove up in front of her house. A man got out and said,
"Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award
you $1000, even though we will not be able to use it." Here
is her entry:
Carnation milk, best milk in the land
comes to you in a little red can.
Carnation milk is best of all
no tits to pull, no hay to haul.
No buckets to wash, no shit to pitch,
just poke a hole in the son-of-a-bitch!
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
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To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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