Publication: Laff A Day
Advantages of beer. | |
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LAFF A DAY - Wednesday, April 2, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
I've seen this Beer vs. Pussy list before, and it's just as
funny as the last time I read it.
And I might add one more...if you're Gov. Spitzer, drinking
six beers at a time will cost you about five-fifty. Six
pussies at a time will cost you about six thousand bucks.
TZ
"News from the Pentagon: Soldiers can now live together if
the're married. I don't know if that's a good idea. Can you
imagine being under constant attack from a hostile enemy
then having to go out and fight the terrorists?"
-Craig Ferguson
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Joke: Beer Vs. Pussy
A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes terrible served hot. A pussy tastes better
served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
Advantage: Pussy.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are
not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy
24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.
If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, you will get divorced.
Advantage: Beer.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you
need.
Advantage: Pussy
Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Pussy
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at
a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a
football game.
Advantage: Pussy
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get
a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get
a high five.
Advantage: Pussy
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With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.
Pussy can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have,
you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual
harassment.
Advantage: Pussy
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the
dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly
have you back.
Advantage: beer.
The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have
enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.
The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have
enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.
Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie
Good beer: Sam Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy.
The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: Pussy.
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
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END OF LAFF A DAY
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