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THE INTERNET TUTOR
April 6, 2006
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This week...
- Webmaster Tip: Image Map Entry
- Surfin' the Web: Baseball Contest
- Software Spotlight: System Cleaner
- The Oddball Wall: Bizarre Baseball
- Computer Tip: Spyware Quake
My wife and I were at a cookout with some friends when little
10 year old Nick came running into the house screaming, "Mom,
mom, I broke a tooth out when I fell off the deck."
Blood was running down his chin and filled his mouth. His mom
went into a small panic. "Open your mouth," she yelled, "let
me see it."
Nick opened his mouth, mom looked inside. "What tooth,' she
asked, getting more desperate by the moment, "what tooth is
it?"
"April Fools!" exclaimed Nick as he wiped the ketchup off his
face.
Mom had been had, and my wife was the one that gave him the
idea. He did ask her how to fool his mom, and my wife was
more than happy to oblige. I hope your April Fools Day was
less stressful. :)
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ALPINE SUNGLASSES by THE DAKOTA SUNGLASS COMPANY
Normal Retail $69.99
INTRODUCTORY PRICE: $2.99
Take advantage of this SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER for
authentic ALPINE SUNGLASSES. Dakota Eyewear wants to
prove that once you try a pair, you will agree these
are the best sunglasses you have ever owned.
Alpine Sunglasses offer unmatched quality, style and
comfort . . . AND are GUARANTEED to block 100% of
harmful UV rays.
NO CLUBS TO JOIN, NO HIDDEN COSTS IT'S TRUE --
JUST 100% UV PROTECTION from Dakota Eyewear. DON'T MISS
OUT This offer will not last long. Perfect for both men
and women. Sorry due to demand, we must limit you to 5
pairs per order. To order, click or copy and paste this
link: Alpine Sunglasses Introductory Offer
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WEBMASTER TIP - Image Map Entry
Note: In code examples I add a period after each left arrow
bracket so the code can be viewed in all e-mail programs. If
you copy and paste, be sure to remove the periods or it won't
work.
Question: I paid good money for a professional web site, but
it isn't showing up in search engines. Someone told me it may
have something to do with the page design. I find that hard
to believe since it was professionally done. What do you think?
My site is (URL deleted). My designer told me it takes a long
time to get a site indexed.
Simon Says: It does take a long time to get a site indexed in
many search engines, but you'll be waiting forever with the
current design.
Your opening page does look nice, but the only links into your
site from the front page are built into the image map. Search
engine spiders typically are unable to follow image map co-
ordinates, so your site will not be indexed since there are
no links a search engine spider can follow.
A few search engines may index your main page, but it will
probably never show up in any search results since there is
no content other than the image map, which is meaningless to
search engines.
Your designer knew what he or she was doing from a design
standpoint, but does not understand how search engines work.
Have him or her add text links so the search engines spiders
have some links to follow, and so people that have images
turned off, use screen readers, or use text only browsers
can also access your site.
You should also have your web designer add some text content
to the front page. It should include several keywords and
keyword phrases that reflect what your site is about. The
textual content is the "main course" a search engine spider
feeds on.
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ELVIS PRESLEY - THE KING on DVD
Store Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
*** 50 Million Elvis Fans Can't Be Wrong ***
Relive all the memorable moments and highlights from all
stages of the career of the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis.
This 80 minute, jam-packed DVD contains footage of Elvis in
Hollywood, on TV and Live in Concert. But the best part of
all is... it can now be yours for only $2.99. Grab a copy by
visiting: Elvis The King on DVD
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SURFIN' THE WEB - Baseball Contest
This one is for baseball fans, or anyone that wants a chance
to win a lot of money!
Major League Baseball has three contests. All are free to
enter and extensive knowledge of baseball isn't necessary.
In one contest you pick a hitter each day, if your pick gets
a hit your "hitting streak" keeps going. If not, you start
over. You can pick a different hitter each day if you like,
and can play several days in advance so you don't have to
log in every day to play. Whoever has the longest hitting
streak of the season wins.
In another contest, you pick someone you think will hit a
home run. Again, the idea is to have a long streak, only this
times it's a home run streak. In the third contest you pick
one team to win. If your team wins, you survive, if not, you
don't survive. Last man or woman standing wins.
Did I mention the prizes? Top prize in the best paying game
is $100,000 -- and that's no foul ball! Other prizes include
$10,000, All Star Game tickets, and MLB gift certificates.
http://tinyurl.com/n2mv6
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Do you think our nation should go to war with Iran?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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SOFTWARE SPOTLIGHT - System Cleaner
Spring is the time for spring cleaning, and that should
include the care of your PC. System Cleaner is a tool for
cleaning up your system to help it run like new again. The
program targets more than 100 file extensions of unnecessary
files on your computer. You can choose to delete the files
to the recycle bin or to a specified backup folder.
System Cleaner includes a Windows Startup Manager, Registry
Cleaner, File Shredder, Privacy Protector and more.
http://www.pointstone.com/products/systemcleaner/
Note: I do not provide support for the featured software.
Contact the software vendor for support. No warranty is
made or implied as to the usefulness or appropriateness of
featured software.
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MicroGrip Non*Slip-Pads
The concept product our cars have been waiting for
MicroGrip Non*Slip-Pads are state-of-the-art technology.
Securely hold objects in place through sharp turns and sudden
stops. No more stuff flying in the back seat.
Millions of microscopic grips act as invisible suction cups,
without glue or sticky tapes that melt in the sun.
MicroGrip works on any surface in any temperature and humidity
level. Hold cell phones, coins, garage door openers, IDs,
wallets, PDAs, portable CD players, glasses & more. Only $5.99
or 2 for $4.99 each. Visit: MicroGrip Pads
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THE ODDBALL WALL - Bizarre Baseball
On this day in 1973, Yankee Ron Blomberg became the 1st
designated hitter. Since it's the big inning...er, beginning
of the 2006 baseball season, I'm going to pitch in with a
baseball quiz.
1) In reference to the intro to this quiz, what did Ron
Blomberg do in his first at bat as the first designated
hitter in baseball?
a. struck out b. walked c. got a hit
2) In one of the most bizarre trades in baseball history, in
1962 the Cleveland Indians traded catcher Harry Chiti to the
New York Mets for a player to be named later. Who was the
player that was named later?
a. Harry Chiti (Harry Chiti for Harry Chiti)
b. Jake Stengel (son of Mets' manager Casey Stengel)
c. Mike Payson (the husband of team owner Joan Whitney Payson)
3) In another bizarre trade, in 1989, Tim Fortugno, a career
minor leaguer pitcher, was traded to the Milwaukee Brewers.
What did the Brewers give up to acquire Fortugno?
a. twelve dozen baseballs and $2,500
b. a rookie-level minor league team they were disbanding any-
way
c. their double-A team head groundskeeper
4) Joel Youngblood pulled off something no other player had
ever done in the history of baseball. What was it?
a. struck out 11 times in one game (18 innings)
b. got a hit for two different major league teams on the same
day
c. hit a home run in every at bat in 2 straight games (9 total
homers)
5) Pitcher Buck O'Brien went 20-13 for Boston in 1912. After
giving up only 2 runs in 8 innings in game 3 of the World Series,
he got off to a bad start in game 6 by giving up 5 runs in the
first inning. For this, his teammates...
a. forced him to drink a pint of whiskey to calm down
b. forced him to be the "batboy" the rest of the game
c. beat him up after the game
6) Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz once burned his chest
in a bizarre fashion. How did he get burned?
a. he leaned over a hot charcoal grill reaching for a spatula
b. he fell asleep by his pool, with a magnifying glass on his
chest
c. he tried to iron his shirt while he was wearing it
7) Who said, "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
a. Yogi Berra b. Bill "Spaceman" Lee c. Jim "Gumby" Gantner
8) Baseball Hall of Fame pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm did something in
the first game he played that he didn't do again in his entire
21 year career. What was it?
a. struck out the first batter of the game
b. hit a home run
c. threw 18 pitches before being pulled, having thrown no
strikes
And now for a trio of bizarre baseball bits...
9) Edd Roush once fell asleep in the outfield during a game,
Ed Stewart once swung the bat so hard he knocked himself out,
and Dan Friend once...
a. "ran" the bases after hitting a homer by walking on his
hands
b. intentionally threw up on the home plate umpire
c. played left field in a robe
Answers below, here's the scoring:
9 correct: Perfection!
7-8 correct: Outstanding
5-6 correct: Very Good
2-4 correct: Fairly Fair
0-1 correct: Turn the TV off.
Answers:
1) b. walked
2) a. Harry Chiti (Harry Chiti for Harry Chiti)
3) a. twelve dozen baseballs and $2,500
4) b. got a hit for two different major league teams on the
same day
5) c. beat him up after the game
6) c. ironing his shirt while he was wearing it
7) a. Yogi Berra
8) b. hit a home run
9) c. played left field in a robe
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COMPUTER TIPS - Spyware Quake
I was surfing the web and clicked a link to read a review of
something, although I don't remember what, when I new icon
appeared on my system tray, and a message popped up saying my
computer was infected with a virus! It also had the message
to "click here" for a detection and removal tool.
I'm pretty careful, and I was very suspicious of the virus
warning because it didn't look like my antivirus program and
especially because it offered a link to a solution within the
warning. So I did some research.
Spyware Quake was the recommended program to remove the virus.
It's a fake antivirus software program, and the "virus" I
received was malware that was automatically installed on my
computer when the bogus web site loaded. From what I read,
this fake antivirus warning is just a lousy gimmick to sell
the fake software.
It caused a lot of problems for me that I still haven't
gotten completely fixed. My antivirus software did catch it,
but some damage was done before it was quarantined. Educate
yourself. Search for Spyware Quake on the web and read up
about it. Here's a good place to start that includes screen-
shots:
http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/forums/topic47826.html
Disclaimer: Advice in this column is presented as infor-
mational and is true to the best of my knowledge. Any
decisions to follow this advice is your responsibility.
Your computer, your choice.
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Until next week, remember these words of Plato: Be kind, for
everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Have an interesting day, Simon
Questions? Comments? Email me at: tutor@gophercentral.com
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