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How T-Ball Has Ruined My Life | |
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GOPHER BITS - Friday, March 2, 2007
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Greetings,
I think I'm going to change the name of this column to
'How T-Ball Has Ruined My Life'. Ever since my wife talked
me into being the coach of our son's T-Ball team I have
since become the default manager, equipment coordinator
and now, fund-raiser.
In order to keep all of the little darlings in cleats and
Kool-Aid the park district has authorized a 'Vegas Night'
and guess who gets to be treasurer, commissariat and pit
boss? That's right. I think I should be allowed to skim
two percent off the top for my effort. Do you think the
park district would go for that?
Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com
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********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************
Britney Fuels Reconciliation Reports With Wedding Band...
Britney Spears stepped out for an AA meeting Wednesday night
wearing a band on her wedding ring finger, fueling rumors
she is reconciling with estranged husband Kevin Federline.
Britney filed for divorce from Kevin in November of last
year and kept her wedding ring finger bare while dating, but
has been wearing a band on her left hand over the last week.
Despite the couple's rocky two-year marriage, a source close
to Federline told US Weekly that once Britney recovers,
"Kevin wants to get back together with her. "He is her
biggest supporter." On February 24th, just three days after
the star checked into rehab, Kevin, Britney's mother Lynne,
and the couple's young sons, Sean and Jayden dropped by the
facility for a two-hour visit. The source added, "It was a
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*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK ****************
--------- Suspect Hides From The Cops In Hot Tub ----------
TACOMA, Wash., A man who led police on wild high speed chase
through Tacoma, Wash., then hid in a hot tub for 90 minutes
was a "pruned mess" when police finally found him. The
incident began around 11:30 Wednesday night when suburban
Lakewood police began pursuing a truck that had been stolen
the night before, the Tacoma (Wash.) News reported Friday.
Police pursued the suspect at speeds ranging from 50 mph to
85 mph through Tacoma and its suburbs. One cruiser crashed
during the chase and the suspect finally crashed the truck
into a tree and fled on foot, authorities said. The officer
was not injured. As a helicopter and police tracking dogs
searched for the suspect, a man noticed activity in his hot
tub and dialed 911, the News said. Police found the naked
fugitive hiding inside the tub sick and wrinkled after an
hour and a half in the 104-degree water. Sheriff's spokesman
Ed Troyer said it was some time before they could fingerprint
the suspect at the Pierce County Jail. "They had to wait for
his fingers to unprune," Troyer said. "He was just a pruned
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********************* WEEKLY JOKES **********************
LAFF A DAY:
A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery
store was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind
him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming.
He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember
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"Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you,
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The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the
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Then he got a little panicky. "I don't remember her," he
thought but, MAYBE..during one of the wild parties he had
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"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your
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(WARNING! Contains adult humor and language)
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When it was my turn, I rose and said, "I'm new with the
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******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************
Tyra Banks Verifies Katharine McPhee's Boobs Are Real
In a bizarre on-air interview with Tyra Banks, former
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Will President Bush be a valuable asset to Republicans in the
2008 elections?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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