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Marriages are soluble in pool water. | |
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GOPHER BITS - Friday, September 29, 2006
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for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our
entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Greetings,
Here's a tip for all of you married folks out there. If you
want to preserve your marriage do not buy a pool. I have
been trying to button up our pool for the winter for the
last two weekends and the fights it has created between my
wife and I has brought more stress into the house than any-
thing else.
When we were trying to decide which giant inflatable pillow
to buy to put under the tarp my wife got so upset she
suggested, right in the middle of the store, that my parents
weren't married.
Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com
P.S. If you're interested we now have a forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Forum
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??????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
Which is the odd one out?
Boundaries
Cancerous
Librarian
Scorpions
Chameleon
Keyboards
MOVIE QUOTE:
"Can you believe I fathered him with just one testicle?"
*** Answers at the bottom! ***
** For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a **
F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!
The Daily Tease
Subscribe to The Daily Tease
Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia
Subscribe to Film Quotes
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GINSU KNIVES (Lowest Price EVER)
Store Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
Famous Ginsu Knife Set... Even our regular price of $19.99
is so much cheaper than what you would pay on TV.
You've seen them on TV, now you can own a set of your own
for only $2.99. These Ginsu Knives are legendary for their
ability to cut through just about anything and stay sharp.
And in this 10 piece set you will get:
*One Meat Cleaver/Turkey Carver/Bread Slicer
*One Paring Knife
*One Fruit and Vegetable Knife
*One Utility Knife
*And Six Steak Knives
This same set can be sold in stores for as much as $30, but
through this exclusive, last chance offer you can get the
complete set for JUST $2.99. Check them out by visiting:
Famous Ginsu Knife Set
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********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************
Clooney and Zellweger Dating Again?
Word is George Clooney has reconciled his romance with Renee
Zellweger. The two were romantically linked for two months in
late 2001, shortly before Clooney started dating on/off girl-
friend Krista Allen. Reports have come out that George and
Renee met at the Tower Bar restaurant in Los Angeles' Sunset
Tower Hotel on Sunday for a romantic dinner. According to
onlookers, the pair "cuddled, held hands and then slow danced
to the piano music."
Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz
*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK ****************
--- Congratulations! Your 3-Year-Old Just Bought A Car! ----
SLEAFORD, England - A 3-year-old British boy showed just what
a wiz he is at bidding on the Internet, buying a car off
eBay. Rachel and Jack Neal of Sleaford say their young son,
Jack, recently spent $17,106.00 for a Barbie pink Nissan
Figaro off the auction site, the Sun reports. The Neals found
out about Jack's endeavor when they received a congratulatory
message. Since Jack was sleeping at the time, the Neals had
to wait until the next morning to ask him what he did. "I've
bought a car," he happily told his parents. The Neals say
Jack has been using the Internet since he was 2 and apparent-
ly got hold of his mother's eBay password. After the Neals
explained the situation, the seller has agreed to re-advertise
the car.
Subscribe to Bizarre News
I'm Walking Here....
Here's an item (the Telescopic Walking Stick) that I never
really thought I would use. But I decided to try it out
when we went for a walk along a trail a few weeks ago.
It was fun to use.... yes I said fun. When we would come up
to a stream, I would poke at things in it. I also used it
when I wanted to venture off the beaten path, just to make
sure that there were no snakes in front of me. Believe it or
not, it made the walk more enjoyable. Check it out and the
unbelievable low price.
Normal Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $8.27
Whether you're an avid hiker or just looking for a little
extra help walking around, the Telescopic Walking Stick is
just what you need. It's fully adjustable to fit your height
and the spring loaded shaft helps reduce strain on your wrists,
back, knees, legs and feet. With a built in compass it will get
you through hard rocky terrain or just across the street.
Make Walking Fun with The Walking Stick
********************* WEEKLY JOKES **********************
LAFF A DAY:
John was in a bar looking very dejected. His friend, Steve,
walked over and asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's my mother-in-law," John replied, while shaking his
head sadly. "I have a real problem with her."
"Cheer up," Steve said. "Everyone has problems with their
mother-in-law."
"Maybe," John answered. "But I got mine pregnant."
(WARNING! Contains adult humor and language)
Subscribe to Laff A Day
CLEAN LAFFS:
In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light
into a conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an
instant dislike to it, and at the next yard sale, it was the
first thing she put out.
I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it
out and finally bought it.
"That'll look great in your home," I said.
"Oh," she replied. "It's not for me." My bridge club is
having a charity sale, and we were asked to bring the most
hideous thing we could find. What I have here is the winner!"
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
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Parents, Grandparents, Students & Children LOVE THIS...
Store Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $4.99 or less
This complete, 68-piece art set promotes creativity, expression
and of course fun! Both children and adults will love this
all-encompassing art kit that includes:
- 12 Crayons - 12 Colored Pencils - 12 Colored Markers
- 12 Oil Pastels - 1 Liquid Glue - 12 Watercolor Paints
- 1 Paint Brush - 1 Pencil Eraser - 1 Pencil Sharpener
- 1 Paint Pallet - 1 Drawing Pencil - 1 Transparent Ruler
- And a Handsome and Functional Storage Case with Carry Handle
Get this complete set for just $4.99... have a gift to get?
Pick-up two sets for just $7.98. Check it out, by visiting:
Complete 68-Piece Creativity Art Set
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******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************
Kung Fu Hustle Trailer
The martial arts comedy 'Kung Fu Hustle' became an inter-
national hit in 2004. Director and lead actor Stephen
Chow's previous film, 'Shaolin Soccer' was the highest
grossing film in Hong Kong cinema until this movie.
View it at: Kung Fu Hustle
More great videos for every interest at: www.evtv1.com
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
? ?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
Which is the odd one out?
Boundaries
Cancerous
Librarian
Scorpions
Chameleon
Keyboards
TEASE ANSWER:
"Keyboards". All the other words contain names from the 12
signs of the zodiac: bound-Aries, Cancer-ous, Libra-rian,
Scorpio-ns, chame-Leo-n.
MOVIE QUOTE:
"Can you believe I fathered him with just one testicle?"
MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER:
Dustin Hoffman as Bernie Focker in "Meet the Fockers"
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
On the whole, are you happy with Congress?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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