Publication: Gopher Bits The wife likes to torture herself. | |
Subscribe FREE to Gopher Bits by clicking here.
GOPHER BITS - Friday, March 16, 2007
Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our
entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings,
The thing about kids is they require constant work. It would
be so much easier if I could just put the boy in the closet
with my golf clubs, but the wife won't let me. And thank God
for her, too. I have to give major kudos to single parents
who can pull it off, because even between the wife and I,
keeping track of just two kids is almost impossible.
The wife threw a birthday party for our son at the local
bowling alley last week and invited 12 of his little class-
mates and their parents. An hour of bumper bowling, hot-
dogs, hamburgers, chips and fountain drinks, which were
provided by the bowling alley, by the way, required no less
than 175 hours of phone work to coordinate.
In my opinion, nothing in a six-year-old's life should
require that much work. Personally, I think the wife just
likes to torture herself.
Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com
=======================================================
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? This Week's Top Viewed Videos on EVTV1.com ?
? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
TOP FIVE (5) VIEWED FOR THE WEEK:
1. Antonella Barba Video
2. When Britney Attacks
3. Cat Plays Piano
4. Funny Babies and Their Funny Fathers
5. Angelina Jolie
** For more of the newest video every week, click for a **
F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!
Subscribe to EVTV1
------------------------------------------------------------
MOVE OVER TUPPERWARE, THERE'S NOW SOMETHING BETTER...
Introducing Anti-Bacterial Food Storage Containers
Sharper Image Price: $69.95
Store Price: $29.99
OUR PRICE: $12.99
This 20-piece Food Storage Container Set promises to keep
foods Fresh... Longer than ever. Using revolutionary Nano
Particle Plastic, it prevents mold & germ growth. Your
fruits and vegetables will last up to three or four times
longer!
We've made this 20-Piece set available at a staggering low
price. We know once you try it you'll love it and order more!
Don't spend $30 or even $70 on a set... Get it from us and
in no time it will have paid for itself. Makes A Great Gift.
20-PC Anti-Bacterial Food Storage Containers
------------------------------------------------------------
********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************
Zac To Be Speed Racer?....
'High School Musical' and 'Hairspray' star Zac Efron is in
talks to star in the title role of 'Speed Racer.' Zac was
granted permission by Disney to leave the 'High School Musical
2' set for a day so that he could attend a 'Speed Racer' call-
back audition. The live-action adaptation of the Japanese
cartoon series is being made by filmmakers Andy and Larry
Wachowski ('The Matrix'). The movie is scheduled to for a May
23, 2008 release.
Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz
*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK ****************
--------- Man pays steep power bill in pennies -----------
SPRINGFIELD, Ill. - An Illinois man is protesting a recent
utility rate hike by paying his electric bill with pennies.
Robert Hancock of Carterville, Ill., said one of his bills
from power company Ameren totaled $526.62, more than three
times what he paid for electricity before a rate freeze
ended in January, WLS-TV, Chicago, reported. In protest,
he paid about $50 to mail 52,000 cents -- 315 pounds of
pennies -- to the company Saturday.
Subscribe to Bizarre News
The Heavy Duty Bovano Backpack just $9.99
The renowned name in hand bags Bovano has produced this
heavy duty back pack. Stylish enough for school yet durable
enough for camping, this will be the only backpack you will
ever need to buy.
With over 5 separate compartments, this adjustable double
strapped backpack even comes with it's own water bottle
holder for those long hikes. And its' best feature of all
is its' price. Only $9.99. To take advantage of this one
of a kind offer visit: Bovano Backpack
********************* WEEKLY JOKES **********************
LAFF A DAY:
Overheard in a bar:
Him: "I woke up with an erection this morning, and it had
your name written all over it."
Her: "I'm sure my name is far too long to fit the whole
thing on your dick."
Him: "Oh, yeah? What's your name?"
Her: "Sue."
(WARNING! Contains adult humor and language)
Subscribe to Laff A Day
CLEAN LAFFS:
One day a mother took her 6-year-old son with her to visit
a friend at work. Everyone there knew her, and she was
offered a cup of coffee. That day, as one of the employees
went to make more coffee, her son followed her and asked,
"What are you doing?"
"I'm making your mom's favorite drink," she answered.
Imagine the woman's shock when she heard her son say, "Wow!
You know how to make beer?"
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
------------------------------------------------------------
A Genuine Handcrafted Leather Fanny Pack for as low as $9.99...
We've made a special purchase and are passing the savings on
to you. For the price of what you would pay for a regular fanny
pack, you can get a handcrafted, genuine leather one. Durable,
stylish and functional... there's room for your checkbook,
wallet, keys, cell phone, camera, film and accessories and so
much more.
Comes with a special click n' lock buckle and is adjustable up
to 42". You've seen these in stores for as much as $29.99...
With us, it's only $14.99...or JUST $9.99 when you buy two or
more. To see a picture or to order, VISIT:
Genuine Leather Fanny Pack
------------------------------------------------------------
******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************
Crazy Dad - Throws Kid During Wrestling Match
Parents are protective and then there are parents like this
guy who interfered with his son's wrestling match. I don't
know what's worse: losing or having your dad fling your op-
ponent like a lawn dart during your match.
View it at: Crazy Dad - Throws Kid During Wrestling Match
More great videos for every interest at: www.evtv1.com
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? We've got an offer you can't refuse ?
? ?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
TAI CHI CD & DVD SET
Store Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99
It's like a day at the spa... For the price you would pay just
for a CD you get this unique CD/DVD combo.
Tai Chi is the fitness program that began 2000 years ago. It's a
series of low impact exercises that increase energy. And best of
all EVERY ONE can do them ... no matter your present physical
condition.
Unlike most of today's exercises it actually increases your mental
and physical energy through systematic stress reduction. But don't
be fooled ... this is a thorough workout involving the entire body.
Learn graceful, flowing movements which tone muscles, firm the body
and enhance flexibility.
The DVD is designed as a first step towards discovering the many
benefits of Tai Chi. Let the vibrant and soothing music on the CD
open the door to your inner well of quiet strength. Check it out at:
Today's Deal of the Day
To subscribe for free click here and look for DEAL OF THE DAY
at the top of the page: www.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------
GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Do you think that "Scooter" Libby should be pardoned for his
conviction of lying to the Grand Jury?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------
To see more issues like this visit: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun and Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------
END OF GOPHER BITS - Another FREE Gopher Central publication
http://www.gophercentral.com
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Gopher Bits by clicking here.
|