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GOPHER BITS - Friday, May 26, 2006
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Comment The Post Below...
Greetings,
My wife's brother is coming into town from Texas with his
wife and their two kids. And guess who gets to be the
Holiday Inn? Ah, I don't mind really. They're good people
and they understand the number one rule about being a house
guest, never over-stay your welcome! They will be arriving
tonight and they plan on leaving Monday afternoon-evening.
Two whole days and two half days is plenty of time to visit
and have fun without getting on each other's nerves.
Too bad I can't put the wife on some kind of similar
schedule. Just kidding, Honey!
Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com
P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog
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??????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass
of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings
out a gun and aims it at the man. The man says thank you
and leaves. What happened?
MOVIE QUOTE:
"Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I
do it's usually something unusual."
*** Answers at the bottom! ***
** For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a **
F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!
The Daily Tease
Subscribe to The Daily Tease
Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia
Subscribe to Film Quotes
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******************** CELEBRITY NOOZ ********************
Tree House...
Joan Baez and Julia "Butterfly" Hill have set up residence
in a tree. Joan and Hill, a tree sitter who once lived in
a redwood for more two years to prevent loggers from cut-
ting it down, are occupying a tree in Los Angeles to raise
awareness about a 14-acre farm threatened with demolition.
No word on how long they will stay up there.
Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz
************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK ***************
------ Police Use the Force Against 'Luke Skywalker' -------
ORLANDO, Fla. - A high school gym teacher is out of a job
now after creating an outlandish scene outside of a bar over
the weekend. David McCann stood in front of the bar, shirt
unbuttoned, yelling to passers-by that he was Luke Skywalker.
Officers tried to handcuff and restrain him, but McCann
wildly swung his fists and repeatedly attacked them even
after they struck him with a baton. "He continued to attack
with super human strength and made no attempt to escape,"
according to a police report. Two responding officers had
to strike McCann three times with a Taser and hit him a few
more times with the baton before he was finally subdued.
McCann was arrested and relieved of his duties at the
Orange County School District.
Subscribe to Bizarre News
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******************** WEEKLY JOKES *********************
LAFF A DAY:
When my wife came home Sunday afternoon to find the kitchen
and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the
washer and me on the couch having done nothing but drink beer
and watch football all day, she yelled, "Watch yourself,
mister, or you're going to make me do something I don't want
to do."
"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a blowjob
out of this."
(WARNING! Contains adult humor and language)
Subscribe to Laff A Day
CLEAN LAFFS:
Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her
son's room, a mother finally laid down the law: each item of
clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents.
By the end of the week, he owed her $1.50. She received the
money promptly, along with a 50 cent tip and a note that read,
"Thanks, Mom; keep up the good work."
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
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****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************
Super Troopers - Meow
Super Troopers is a 'Animal House' style movie about a squad
of state highway troopers. One State Highway police officer
bets another trooper that he can't say 'MEOW' ten times while
handing out a ticket.
View it at: Super Troopers - Meow
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
? ?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass
of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings
out a gun and aims it at the man. The man says thank you
and leaves. What happened?
TEASE ANSWER:
The man had the hiccups and wanted a glass of water to help
get rid of them. The bartender could hear the hiccups when
the man spoke, so he brought the gun out to scare the hiccups
away. It worked and the man thanked him and left, no longer
needing the glass of water.
MOVIE QUOTE:
"Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I
do it's usually something unusual."
MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: Bill Murray as John Winger in Stripes.
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Should the Mexican government pay healthcare costs for the
11 million illegal immigrants from Mexico?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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All the Gopher Bits issues in one place: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun & Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com
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