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GOPHER BITS - Friday, June 9, 2006
Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our
entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Comment The Post Below...
Greetings,
It's getting just about time to dig out the old golf clubs
from the garage, or the basement, or wherever the heck I
stuck them nine months ago. I am not what you would call
a golf addict, but when I get out there I do enjoy the
challenge and the exercise. It's a lot of work climbing
in and out of that cart. It looks like we're going to get
a bit of rain this weekend, but I just might be able to
sneak nine holes in somewhere. If I don't take out any
windshields or knock anybody unconscious it'll be a good
start to the summer.
Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com
P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog
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? ?
? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
What do these animals all have in common?
Elephant
Ant Eater
Ostrich
Giraffe
MOVIE QUOTE:
"Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9, it's the breast exams!"
*** Answers at the bottom! ***
** For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a **
F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!
The Daily Tease
Subscribe to The Daily Tease
Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia
Subscribe to Film Quotes
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Get Your Groove On and Have Some Fun
Learn To Dance - Party Dancing DVD Now Only $14.99
You've always wanted to know how to Dance, now here is your
opportunity to learn. Start out with the two most popular
line dances that get everyone on the dance floor: The
Electric Slide and the Macarena. Also included in this easy
to follow instructional video are a Foxtrot, a Jitterbug, a
Waltz, and even the Cha Cha. Order your Video for $14.99:
Party Dancing DVD
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******************** CELEBRITY NOOZ ********************
Jack Black Challenges Steven Seagal to Ring Rumble...
Word is Jack Black is so impressed with his wrestling prowess
after training for new movie 'Nacho Libre' he's ready to try
out his fighting skills on martial arts action man Steven
Seagal. Jack trained with a real-life Mexican wrestler for
his new film and how he thinks he can beat Steven Seagal. He
was quoted in Sports Illustrated, "I should take down someone
who is strong, so Steven Seagal (would be perfect) - with his
ridiculous Indian gear, ponytail and swagger. He's the best
fighter in the world in his own mind, so I'll take him down
two notches with my Anaconda Squeeze and Face Melter."
Yeah... we think he was joking too, but it sure is a pretty
good story.
Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz
************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK ***************
-------- And You Thought You Had A Bad Day At Work ---------
BELOGORSK, Russia - Russian police say a boss allegedly
chained an employee naked to a tree in the forest for doing
his work poorly. Last month, a 39-year-old man was found
beaten and chained with handcuffs to a tree near Belogorsk
in Russia's Far East, MosNews reported. There were conflict-
ing reports to how long he had been there. Interfax said the
man spent almost 24-hours in the forest before he was found
by railway workers, while Regnum news agency reports he spent
several hours at the tree. The man told the police he had
been punished by his boss for refusing to engage in illegal
actions. Police, however, say the boss had been angered by
the man's poor work. The boss faces up to two years in prison
for the attack, MosNews said.
Subscribe to Bizarre News
Soap: The Complete First Season on DVD
Relive a Tale of Two Sisters, Mary Campbell and Jessica Tate
Airing from 1977 to 1981, SOAP parodies the conventions of
the soap opera in its story of 2 families, the Tates and the
Campbells, and all their adventures and disagreements--which
include everything from infidelity to insanity to alien
abduction. This 3 DVD set is now available for $29.99. Visit:
Soap: Season One DVD
******************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************
LAFF A DAY:
At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician
running for mayor, "Your former secretary said publicly that
you have a small penis... Would you please comment on this?"
"The truth really is," replied the politician, "That she has
a big mouth."
(WARNING! Contains adult humor and language)
Subscribe to Laff A Day
CLEAN LAFFS:
The district judge in our county is a no-nonsense woman who
has never left any doubt as to her professionalism. What those
of us who work in the court didn't know was whether she had
a sense of humor. The matter was put to rest the morning an
older woman was testifying before the judge. Several times
during the proceedings the woman addressed the judge as
"Honey." Finally the judge looked the woman in the eye and
said, "That's Judge Honey."
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
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Studies have shown that Seroquel users are at a higher risk
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other ailments.
Don't delay, fill out this short, no cost and no obligation
form. Experienced lawyers are waiting to talk to you about
your injuries to find out if you are entitled to compensation.
Find out about your compensation
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****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************
A Few Good Men - You Can't Handle the Truth
Jack Nicholson has given us some memorable performances in
his acting career but none are more recognizable than the
courtroom scene in the military drama, 'A Few Good Men.'
View it at: You Can't Handle the Truth
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
? ?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
What do these animals all have in common?
Elephant
Ant Eater
Ostrich
Giraffe
TEASE ANSWER: They all have unusually long body parts.
MOVIE QUOTE:
"Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9, it's the breast exams!"
MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER:
Diedrich Bader as Lawrence in "Office Space"
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Do you support a constitutional amendment in banning gay
marriage?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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More Free Fun and Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com
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