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GOPHER BITS - Friday, December 1, 2006
Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our
entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Greetings,
Welcome to December. Here in the Chicago area we were treated
to about six inches of snow to mark the occasion. So I got
to spend a half hour shoveling out the driveway this morning
and I am NOT used to that kind of exercise. My shoulders and
back are going to be killing me tomorrow morning. While I run
to the store for some Ibuprofen you can get started on some
really cool material I've put together for you today. Make
sure to check out the quote from my new favorite movie below.
Oh, and you can also see Ultraman performing some 'space judo'
in the video clip at the bottom of the page. Cool stuff!
Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com
P.S. If you're interested we now have a forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Forum
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??????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
A man in a restaurant asked a waiter for a juice glass,
a dinner plate, water, a match, and a lemon wedge. The
man poured enough water onto the plate to cover it.
"If you can get the water on the plate into this glass
without touching or moving this plate, I will give you
$100," the man said. "You can use the match and lemon to
do this."
A few minutes later, the waiter walked away with $100 in
his pocket. How did the waiter get the water into the
glass?
MOVIE QUOTE:
"This is Mr. Lee Ho, he's teaching me and Monkey Tae kwon do.
I got my yellow belt today. Monkey got his red belt. He's a
quick learner!"
*** Answers at the bottom! ***
** For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a **
F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!
The Daily Tease
Subscribe to The Daily Tease
Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia
Subscribe to Film Quotes
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SWIVEL HEAD FLASHLIGHT
Normal Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.49
Here's a flashlight you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.
It can swivel up and down, or all around. You can even clip it
on your belt, shirt pocket, on a cap, just about anywhere.
Swivel Head Flashlight
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********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************
Reese's Cell Phone Ban...
Reese Witherspoon has reportedly banned cell phones on the
set of her new film. The reason? To stop pictures of her
and co-star Jake Gyllenhaal from being taken.
Reese is determined not to be linked to her co-star Jake.
A source told US magazine: "Reese doesn't want any rumors
about her and Jake."
However, Reese's apparent ban may have come too late as news
of her and Jake's budding friendship has already been cir-
culating after the pair were spotted enjoying a lengthy chat.
A source said: "Jake stopped by her trailer and waited for
her. They laughed and talked then he left."
Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz
*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK ****************
----------- Man Seeks Record for Arm Hair Length -----------
JACKSON, Wis.- Jon Sanford takes good care of his hair,
washing it regularly and conditioning it occasionally. Now
he might break a record for that hair - on his arms. One
particularly long strand measured 4.1 inches. If the measure-
ment is ruled official by Guinness World Records, Sanford
will have topped the previous record of 3.96 inches. "It's my
mutant hair," said Sanford, 37. Sanford is from Jackson, a
town about 30 miles northwest of Milwaukee. He downloaded the
necessary forms from Guinness, faxed them back and received
further directions. "I need two witnesses whom I do not know
and they have to be respected in the community," he said of
the instructions. So he turned to Jackson patrol officer Shane
Wrucke and fire chief John Skodinski. "We're not always saving
lives and protecting property. We also do other things,"
Skodinski said. To comply with Guinness regulations, Wrucke
and Skodinski accompanied Sanford to the bathroom before the
measurement to watch him wash the arm hair. "I condition it
sometimes," Sanford said. Sanford will receive a certificate
if his application is affirmed. His mother, Sue Sanford, said
the hair was "gross," but his daughter Molly called it "cool."
Subscribe to Bizarre News
DRUM FRENZY - Roll Up Drum Set - The Gift EVERYONE Loves...
Store Price: $99.99
OUR PRICE: $59.99
Better than a full set of drums but only a fraction of the
cost and size. Each of the four (4) different drums can be
adjusted to eight (8) different tones, including cymbals,
providing 32 DIFFERENT SOUNDS. Includes:
- 30 preset rhythms
- 10 demo songs to play along with
- 20 preset drum combinations
- Volume adjustment
- Tempo adjustment.
- Headphone jack to practice with privacy.
- Complete with detailed instructions.
Folds for storage or easy transport. A gift that any music
lover or would-be musician will love.
Drum Frenzy - Roll Up Drum Set
********************* WEEKLY JOKES **********************
LAFF A DAY:
Some time ago, there was this artist who worked from a
studio in his home. He specialized in nudes and had been
working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for
several months now.
As usual, his model reported and after exchanging the
usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress
for the day's work.
He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a
cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her
for the day but that she could just go home; he just
wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.
The model said "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the
least I can do."
He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They were
sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and
enjoying their tea when he heard the front door open and
close, then some familiar footsteps. "Oh my God!" he
whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick! Take all your
clothes off!"
(WARNING! Contains adult humor and language)
Subscribe to Laff A Day
CLEAN LAFFS:
Usually the secretary at my son's school answers when I call,
but on this occasion I spoke to an unfamiliar voice. I men-
tioned this to my 11-year-old son and asked if he knew who it
was.
"It could have been Mrs. Campbell," he answered after thinking
it over. "Did it sound like she was wearing a blue coat?"
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
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What Every Stocking Needs This Christmas....
It's the perfect stocking stuffer that lights up and changes
7 different colors.... The Incredible Multicolored Illuminating
Pen. Now you can write in the dark. This fun and innovative
ball point pen has an illuminating light set in the body
enabling you to write in complete darkness. The Super Bright
LED lasts for years.
Twist off the barrel of the pen and use it as a mini flash-
light. NASA has used this Integral Super Bright LED to read
and write on space missions for years, now you can use the
same technology. Get a set of 3 Illuminating Pens for a low
price of just $12.99 by visiting: Illuminating Pen Set
*Or if you would prefer to order by phone please have your
credit card ready and call (800) 711-1361 ex 772 (8-5 CST, M-F)
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******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************
UltraMan vs. Neronga
Oh no! Yet another giant monster is attacking Japan and the
Science Patrol is unable to stop it. Watch Hayata use the
Beta Capsule to become Ultraman and battle the menace. You'll
even see some space judo in this clip!
View it at: UltraMan vs. Neronga
More great videos for every interest at: www.evtv1.com
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
? ?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
A man in a restaurant asked a waiter for a juice glass,
a dinner plate, water, a match, and a lemon wedge. The
man poured enough water onto the plate to cover it.
"If you can get the water on the plate into this glass
without touching or moving this plate, I will give you
$100," the man said. "You can use the match and lemon to
do this."
A few minutes later, the waiter walked away with $100 in
his pocket. How did the waiter get the water into the
glass?
TEASE ANSWER:
First, the waiter stuck the match into the lemon wedge,
so that it would stand straight. Then he lit the match,
and put it in the middle of the plate with the lemon.
Then, he placed the glass upside-down over the match.
As the flame used up the oxygen in the glass, it created
a small vacuum, which sucked in the water through the
space between the glass and the plate. Thus, the waiter
got the water into the glass without touching or moving
the plate.
MOVIE QUOTE:
"This is Mr. Lee Ho, he's teaching me and Monkey Tae kwon do.
I got my yellow belt today. Monkey got his red belt. He's a
quick learner!"
MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: Peter Dante as 'Dante' in "Grandma's Boy"
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Do you think "Kramer's" recent racist comments will kill his
career?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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To read more issues please visit: Gopher Bits Archives
More Fun and Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com
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