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Taking the time for a home-cooked meal. | |
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GOPHER BITS - Friday, November 10, 2006
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Greetings,
The wife has a girl's night out tonight, which means I am
in charge of dinner. She left a coupon for the local pizza
place attached to the fridge before she left for work this
morning, at which I took a bit of offense. I was a bachelor
on my own for years before we got married. I still know how
to prepare a meal. So this afternoon I'm off to the grocery
store to do a little shopping!
No pizza for me and my kids. Tonight's menu will consist of
all beef hot dogs with macaroni and cheese and Bush Brand
baked beans. Parents these days need to take more time to
prepare a home cooked meal.
Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com
P.S. If you're interested we now have a forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Forum
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??????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
I'm a ten-letter word, but when I am heard,
I have only four, not one letter more.
My first two sounds are neat; a kind of sheet,
That starts with spread, not the kind on a bed.
Of my sounds, the third is what will be heard,
alphabetically, in the middle of modus operandi.
If you want to hear more, then like the shore,
I end at the sea, that's a hint, you see.
What word am I?
HINT:
There are four letters that sound just like a word of ten
letters. The word is a title of honour given to certain
high officials.
MOVIE QUOTE:
"Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr.
Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach
it taekwondo."
*** Answers at the bottom! ***
** For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a **
F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!
The Daily Tease
Subscribe to The Daily Tease
Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia
Subscribe to Film Quotes
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Fun Foam Putty, Like Floam But 1/2 The Price...
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********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************
Jessica Simpson Hires Male Hooker...
Jessica Simpson accidentally hired a male escort for a blind
date. Jessica has been scouring internet dating sites to find
a man ever since she split from singer John Mayer.
However, she unknowingly arranged a meeting with a 'pro-
fessional hooker'. A friend of Jessica's told a magazine,
"Jessica logged onto the internet to find male company.
"She found a picture of a guy in Los Angeles she thought was
ideal. "They arranged to meet, but when she turned up, she
found out the sad truth - he was only interested in a 'pro-
fessional transaction'. The guy turned out to be a male
escort."
Jessica quickly realized her mistake and told her date in no
certain terms to get lost.
The source added: "Jessica was horrified and told him to go
to hell. She wasn't that desperate." The unfortunate incident
has now made Jessica think twice about her choice of suitors.
The friend said: "She never imagined male hookers would be
trying to cash in on the service. It's turned her off the
web - and that was her main hobby."
Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz
*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK ****************
-------------- Suicide Attempt Causes Brawl --------------
BERLIN - A young woman's rooftop suicide bid in Germany
sparked a mass brawl between spectators encouraging the
21-year-old to jump and a group of homeless people try-
ing to protect her, authorities said Tuesday. The home-
less people were angered when some teenagers in the crowd
of hundreds started yelling to the woman she should throw
herself from the roof of the town hall of the south-western
town of Loerrach, said police spokesman. A punch-up in-
volving around 40 people then ensued, during which time
police managed to coax the woman back indoors -- three and
a half hours after her ordeal began. Some 35 officers, six
of whom were injured during the fight, were needed to break
it up. Eight participants were arrested.
Subscribe to Bizarre News
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********************* WEEKLY JOKES **********************
LAFF A DAY:
Because he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly,
widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to
enjoy it with.
Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty
took his breath away. "I'm just an ordinary man," he said
walking up to her, "but in a little while, my father will die
and I'll inherit 20 million dollars. I would like to have
someone to share it with. Will you come home with me?"
The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became
his stepmother.
(WARNING! Contains adult humor and language)
Subscribe to Laff A Day
CLEAN LAFFS:
A Bedouin wandering in the Sahara happened upon an American
dressed in a bathing suit, flip-flops, a big, over-sized
t-shirt and sunglasses.
The Bedouin gazed at him in amazement, "What are you doing
all the way out here dressed like that!?"
"I'm going swimming," the tourist explained.
"But the ocean is eight hundred miles away," the Arab
informed him.
"Eight hundred miles!" the American exclaimed with a whistle
of appreciation. "Boy, what a beach!"
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
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- Complete with detailed instructions.
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******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************
Funny Animals - Talk To The Animals
Humans love to act as though animals are their dearest
friends. In this clip we see a less affectionate glimpse
at animals, but still looking lovable while letting us
know they are not willing to socialize at the moment!
View it at: Talk To The Animals
More great videos for every interest at: www.evtv1.com
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
? ?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
TEASE:
I'm a ten-letter word, but when I am heard,
I have only four, not one letter more.
My first two sounds are neat; a kind of sheet,
That starts with spread, not the kind on a bed.
Of my sounds, the third is what will be heard,
alphabetically, in the middle of modus operandi.
If you want to hear more, then like the shore,
I end at the sea, that's a hint, you see.
What word am I?
TEASE ANSWER: Excellency (XLNC)
The four letters, XLNC, sound just like the ten-letter word
excellency.
The first two sounds (XL) are the name of a spreadsheet program.
If you arrange the letters in modus operandi alphabetically
(addeimNooprsu), the letter N is the middle letter. Also, modus
operandi is usually written as an abbreviation, MO, which in the
alphabet, would have an N in the middle.
The final letter (C) sounds like sea. Do you see?
MOVIE QUOTE:
"Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr.
Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach
it taekwondo."
MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: Peter Dante as Dante in "Grandma's Boy"
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Are you happy that the Democrats are in control of the House?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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