Publication: Fifty & Furthermore
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FIFTY & FURTHERMORE - Monday, February 26, 2007
"I'm Dr. Dorree Lynn, founder of FiftyandFurthermore.com.
Growing older can be a time for creative and passionate
living, and I will apply my years as a psychologist to
help you with the challenges and wonders that come with
this new life stage."
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Hello and welcome to FIFTY & FURTHERMORE!
It is with sadness that I tell you this is the final issue
of Fifty & Furthermore. All of your questions, comments
and personal stories have been very much appreciated and
have helped to shape this newsletter and community into
what it has become. As a reminder, you can still visit my
website, www.fiftyandfurthermore.com to read articles, get
advice and bond with other sensational Sages. Writing this
ezine has been a great experience for me, and I hope you
have benefitted as well.
Always remember - "life is too hard to do alone - reach
out!"
Dr. Dorree Lynn, Psychologist
*I wanted to come full circle and leave you with the
article I wrote for the very first ezine over a year ago.
I believe it holds truer than ever.
AGING IN AMERICA TODAY: PARADOXES by Dr. Dorree Lynn
Those of us who are fifty and furthermore are a genera-
tion living in the midst of sweeping personal, political,
and societal change. Although we are in our second half
century and we will soon be in the majority, how we
define ourselves remains fuzzy. Who we are or who we are
to become is up for grabs. Although we share the broad
common denominator of age, not everyone over fifty is
the same. Not only are our values as diverse as our thumb
prints, where we are situated in our over-fifty life span
requires unique skill sets and raises different questions.
We are faced with a multitude of rapidly changing chal-
lenges: social security, rising medical and health
insurance bills, financial survival, Medicare reform,
terrorism. We question whether retirement means carefree
days, death or the possibility of “refirement.”
Statistics tell us that we live and work longer than ever.
But chances are that either you, your spouse or a friend
has already faced a serious illness or the loss of a
loved one. We live with the message that family matters
while we, or many of our contemporaries, have had an
affair, gotten divorced or had more than one marriage.
Home prices continue to skyrocket and low interest rates
are inching upward. Property taxes are soaring too. Do
we plan to move in with our children? (They may still
be living with us.) Do we plan for assisted living, or
hope that we will have enough money to last until we
pass? Stories about the lavish lifestyles of wealthy
(sometimes dishonest) corporate CEOs and Hollywood stars
are in the news daily, while at the same time the
economic security we hoped for may be declining. “Why
them? Why me?” we may wonder, remembering the many paths
we did, didn't or couldn't take. Choices are necessary
in order to live. But with each decision we must embrace
a loss. As we age, it is customary, though not necessar-
ily beneficial, to wonder about the proverbial Road Not
Taken.
We are old enough to have seen once-taboo subjects such
as mammograms and prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction
and same-gender sex taken out from under the covers.
Yet many of us come from backgrounds where talking about
oneself simply isn't done. With whom do we discuss
issues such as dating while our children date, vaginal
dryness or the side effects of Viagra, Levitra or
Cialis. Chances are our health professionals are as old
as we are. And if they are not, do we really want to
discuss our sex lives or lack of them with someone who
appears young enough to be our grandchild?
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You might never look at news the same as "Outfoxed" takes
us behind-the-scenes. Is this biased? Of course, but you
just have to see it even if you are a devotee of Fox News.
Outfoxed
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Today, in certain social and economic strata, wrinkles
are forbidden. Take a good look at our age mates in
Congress, in sports, or on the big and little screen.
Even if they too have landed in their second century,
the faces of both men and women are often remarkably
smooth, their bodies often enviably taut. An astute
observer will soon be able to define the economic and
geographical status of an individual simply by looking
at their face. Wrinkles will imply a core value system
about aging as generations before us did, or possibly
an economic stratum where putting food on the table
remains a higher priority than selecting which cosmetic
surgeon to use. A viewer might say that person has roots
in a small town, possibly in the Midwest . Smooth skin
and bright wide eyes will point to residence in a larger
city, probably on one of the coasts, or perhaps a
sophisticated, competitive metropolis such as Chicago
or Denver where beauty matters. Except where diversity
counts, we constantly view the slick face of America .
Few people whom I encounter every day look as my
grandmother did: gray haired, roly-poly, wrinkled, com-
forting and definitely old.
Stress has become so much the norm that smart entrepre-
neurs have rushed to fill all kinds of needs we didn't
know we had, including the luxury or personalized
vacation niche. These visionaries both respond to and
shape our perceptions of the future. A simple walk in
the woods or a vacation for the fun of it is no longer
a valid activity. The new vacation’s stated purpose is
to de-stress. The ads blare, “You owe it to yourself to
be good to yourself.” Enter the pricey spas, steam
showers, saunas, massages, cleansing facials and
products claiming to solve almost every problem you may
encounter.
Where our grandparents or parents might have delighted
in a road trip, piling their children into the family
Packard, we worry about which plane, train, or
automobile to take, bonus miles to use up, trendy places
to go, parts of the world to see. Since travel itself is
now often stressful, travel magazines offer tips on how
to relax without adding additional stress.
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TOM & JERRY'S GREATEST CHASES on DVD
Get almost two hours of the crazy and fun antics of
Tom & Jerry on one DVD. You get 14 of their greatest
chases which guarantees you more tail-stomping, anvil-
dropping, teeth-shattering action from the masters of
animated slapstick. And at just $9.99 it makes a great
gift. Check it out at:
Tom & Jerry Greatest Chases
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New industries are being spawned to prevent or to take care
of our fragile, aging bodies. We are bombarded by choices.
Which gym, fitness instructor, yoga teacher, alternative
health method, special diet, food fad, or simply time-sav-
ing food delivery service do we spend our money on?
Magazines such as Time and Newsweek show photos of
emaciated, tortured people our age and younger trying to
survive, while People,Vogue, Vanity Fair, GQ and others
of that ilk portray perfectly groomed, trim and fit
contemporaries in designer clothes at charity functions.
Where do we fit in? We ask ourselves, what are our values?
Do we measure up? Does love count?
Before the world became global, we held family values that
reflected our own community. True, we had to contend with
gossip and a lack of freedom from prying eyes. On the other
hand, we knew our neighbors back then, and if someone was
ill there would be a casserole at the front door. Children
behaved poorly and rebelled. Teenagers always do. But
school shootings such as those at Columbine or in
Washington , DC were not the fare on everyday view.
The paradoxes abound. In an increasingly obese nation,
slim is in. Family values are promoted, but sex sells.
Charity begins at home, yet many of us live in safely
gated and guarded communities. We thought we would age
with comfort and instead find ourselves sandwiched
between taking care of our kids--who may even have
returned home to live -- and taking care of aging
parents. We live longer and are faced with end-of-life
decisions. In a world of increasing violence, we seek
spiritual solace. Anger, we are told, is unhealthy for
your heart, yet children interact with killer video
games as soon as their hands can push a button.
We are a pioneer generation, but the true pioneers are
those in their seventies and eighties. They are the ones
who are now living longer than ever. They come out of a
silent time when illness, feelings, and sex were
discussed in a quiet corner if they were spoken about
at all. Yet now they are the ones introducing their
dating children to their dates, having hip replacements
so that they may continue to dance or play tennis,
launching new careers and surviving the death of those
younger than themselves. They are sages. Those of us who
follow need to embrace and not undervalue the process of
becoming wise. We too are forging new paths. It is our
job to mentor others and to use our wisdom well. Whether
one surrenders to God or believes only in oneself, I
know one truth for sure.
Life is too hard to do alone. Reach out.
**I have just been informed that as of March 1, all F&F
subscribers will automatically begin receiving the Dear
Abby newsletter in place of this one. If you wish not to
receive this, you should unsubscribe through the link at
the bottom of this issue. Just a heads up!
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For more insight and advice from Dr. Lynn visit:
fiftyandfurthermore.com
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Topical, timely, controversial, click the link to answer
this week's GopherCentral.com Question of the Week.
Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
Question of the Week
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