Publication: Dear Abby
Bloom is Off The Rose After Valentine's Fiasco | |
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DEAR ABBY - March 12, 2008
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BLOOM IS OFF THE ROSE AFTER VALENTINE'S FIASCO
ABBY: My boyfriend, "Richie," and I have been together three
years. Richie watches his pennies, so I was very surprised
two days before Valentine's Day to return from a family trip
and find a gorgeous vase of professionally arranged flowers
and a small heart-shaped box of chocolates on my coffee table.
I was very impressed, surprised and excited. I asked Richie
where he got them, and he told me the name of a high-priced
florist. I was off work the day before Valentine's Day, so
I went out, bought expensive wine and filet mignon and made
a fantastic home-cooked meal for him.
When Richie got home from work, I asked him again where he
got the flowers, and he again named the florist. I asked if
he really went and got them, and if they were really intended
for me. (It was just so out of character for him to splurge
like that. The arrangement must have cost at least $100.)
When he didn't respond, I probed some more. He finally
confessed they were from a funeral his parents had attended
the day before I got home.
Can you believe Richie was trying to pass off flowers from
a complete stranger's funeral as nice flowers he got me for
Valentine's Day? He lied to me. Now he says I'm ungrateful
and that there's nothing wrong with what he did! I told him
he is greedy and cheap, and the thoughtful thing to do with
leftover funeral flowers would have been to take them to a
cancer ward at a hospital or to a local nursing home.
What do you think? Am I overreacting? I'm afraid this may
be a deal-breaker.
-- ANN IN GRAND RAPIDS, MICH.
ANN: You're not overreacting. Your feelings are justified.
You now know exactly what kind of things Richie is capable
of -- and being generous to make you happy is not on his
agenda. Wake up and smell the flowers. You have glimpsed
what your future will be like if you marry him. When it
comes to making you happy, Richie will always be playing
the angles, and you will be shortchanged because he is
cheap.
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ABBY: Will you please suggest a response that will end the
conversation when someone comments in a negative way on
how young I look, and asks what I have done? I'm 69, but
look a decade younger.
I grew up plain and poor, but became a successful
professional and changed my appearance. I have had hair
and makeup lessons, advice on clothing and cosmetic
surgery.
I often receive rude comments from both strangers and
acquaintances who have chosen to age "naturally." I'm not
interested in answering their sly questions about cosmetic
surgery, but because I'm usually accosted in social
settings, I don't want to be rude. I just want to make
them realize that I consider their questions impolite and
want them to shut up. Any ideas?
-- PRETTY CAN BE BOUGHT, WACO, TEXAS
PRETTY (Regardless of how you got that way): Has it not
occurred to you to be proud of what you have accomplished?
You are a successful professional, and you should enjoy it
and all of the "perks" that go with it. You may have grown
up plain and poor, but you have turned yourself into a
"swan." Why are you defensive about it? If you can help
another woman by sharing information, it would be the
generous thing to do.
ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
____________________________________________________________
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END OF ABBY
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