Publication: Dear Abby
Supermom Has Given Her All To Everyone Except Herself | |
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DEAR ABBY - April 11, 2008
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SUPERMOM HAS GIVEN HER ALL TO EVERYONE EXCEPT HERSELF
ABBY: I am a 50-year-old mom with three grown daughters. I
gave up my whole life to be a stay-at-home parent. I was a
room mother at school and a bus driver, and did everything
I could to be the best mom my kids could have. Now they are
grown with children of their own. I help with the grandkids,
but I never feel appreciated.
I tried to do everything the opposite of how my parents
raised me. My mother was absent, and my dad was a drunk who
abused us. I'm beginning to wonder -- have all the sacrifices
I made mattered? Or have I wasted my life trying to be a good
mom and no one cares?
-- SUPERMOM IN WELSH, LA.
SUPERMOM: You were a diligent parent when your daughters were
growing up, and you have continued generously giving of your
time with your grandchildren. But it seems you forgot
completely about yourself during those years.
Rather than looking for "appreciation" from your daughters,
don't you think it's time you started devoting some time to
yourself and your own interests? I do. Take some time for
yourself. You have earned it. And, perhaps, if you're less
available, you will be more appreciated.
ABBY: After reading the columns you printed with letters
from readers describing what they think is wrong with
American society, I think it's time to talk about what is
RIGHT in our society. I, for one, would like to mention the
endless compassion we are capable of giving, and how, in
times of some of our greatest tragedies, we have come
together in spite of our differences to support and help
one another.
Yes, there are many negatives that can easily be listed
about problems in our society, but wouldn't the greater
challenge -- and a more productive one -- be to list the
positives about it?
-- REBECCA IN NEW YORK
REBECCA: I received a great deal of feedback regarding not
only the question I posed to readers -- "What is society's
greatest problem?" -- but also some of the thought-provoking
responses that appeared in my column (Feb. 5 and 6). While
many people told me they enjoyed the intellectual exercise,
others felt that those columns were uncharacteristically
negative. (My feeling is that finding solutions to problems
entails first identifying them.)
However, your point is well taken. So, readers, pick up your
pens or head for your keyboards, and share with me -- and
each other -- your thoughts on what is right in our society.
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ABBY: I recently won a local vocabulary contest. In school,
I am called "the walking dictionary." People often approach
me to find out the meaning of words.
Since winning the contest, I have become more popular, and
my boyfriend has been trying to use big words when he talks
to me or to our friends. The problem is, he uses them
incorrectly or mispronounces them. I know he's trying to
impress me, but it's embarrassing. How can I tell him to stop
without hurting his feelings?
-- THE WALKING DICTIONARY IN GEORGIA
WALKING DICTIONARY: People sometimes mispronounce words
because they learned them by reading them rather than
hearing them used. Give your boyfriend points for being
intellectually acquisitive.
The next time he uses a word incorrectly or mispronounces
it, offer a gentle correction -- but be sure to do it in
private. That way, he won't be embarrassed.
ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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