Publication: Dear Abby
Daughter Hits Glass Ceiling In Her Own Family's Business | |
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DEAR ABBY - April 24, 2008
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DAUGHTER HITS GLASS CEILING IN HER OWN FAMILY'S BUSINESS
ABBY: I'm in my early 40s. I studied marketing and
merchandising in college, but after graduation I chose to
work in the family business. I married young, and my father
hired my first husband so he could one day take over because
I wasn't considered "man" enough to carry on this third-
generation business.
I have spent the last 22 years learning this business inside
and out. The employees respect me, and I have also gained
respect within our industry. Although the number of women
is still small, more and more women are involving themselves
in this and related fields.
My day-in/day-out misery comes from my father. He is 72 and
still works every day. He is old school. No matter how much
money I make for this company or how much respect I gain
from others, he will never acknowledge it. He constantly
argues with me, and when he knows he's wrong, he walks out
of the room. If I hear, "I have been doing this longer than
you have" once more, I'll scream.
I would like to move on with my life -- meaning, get a new
career. But being an only child in a family business that
started in the 1920s, I feel trapped.
My ex- still works here, which is the company joke and the
talk of the town. My birthday was last week, and Dad did not
even wish me a happy birthday. Pretty sad for a man with one
child he sees every day.
How can I find the strength to get on with my life?
-- RUNNING OUT OF AIR
RUNNING: It shouldn't be difficult; consider the alternative.
Your father will stay exactly where he is until he becomes
incapacitated or dies -- whichever comes first. You have not
once mentioned a succession plan that includes you.
If you want to wind up working for the "company joke," stay
where you are. If not, put out some feelers regarding
opportunities in your industry. You say you are respected.
You might be pleasantly surprised to find there are some
attractive options.
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ABBY: How can I make my husband understand that eating out
every Sunday after church is not only a waste of money, but
also makes going out for special occasions not as important
as they could be? I try to explain that we could do something
besides eat out, but he only wants to do that.
We spend anywhere from $80 to $100 each week on dinner out.
My husband puts it on a credit card. Now, I'll admit that
I'm not that "up" on how credit cards work, but I know we'll
have to pay them off eventually. We don't have the kind of
money to splurge every week. How should I deal with this?
-- TIRED OF EATING OUT, HAMPTON, VA.
TIRED OF EATING OUT: Have another talk with your husband.
If he is able to pay his credit card bills in full every
month, then you should stop worrying. If he is not, then
you are living beyond your means -- a practice that has
gotten many thousands of people in big financial trouble.
And if that's the case, to assure your future you both
need to agree upon a budget and reorganize your priorities.
ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
____________________________________________________________
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END OF ABBY
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