Publication: Dear Abby
Girl With Her Own Bedroom Is Bunking With Dad Instead | |
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DEAR ABBY - March 31, 2008
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GIRL WITH HER OWN BEDROOM IS BUNKING WITH DAD INSTEAD
ABBY: I have been dating "Jim," a single father of an
18-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter, "Jenna." The
girl is very close to her parents to the point that she
sleeps with them. On nights she's with Jim, she shares a
bed with him. Jim and his ex have been divorced since
Jenna was 2. She shared their bed while they were married.
I no longer bring up the subject. I guess you could say
Jim and I have agreed to disagree. However, I don't think
a 13-year-old girl should be sharing a bed with her father.
To put it bluntly, it gives me the creeps.
Jenna also shares her father's master bedroom and closet
with him as if she were his wife. Please understand, this
girl has a lavish bathroom of her own connected to a
princess-style bedroom that contains everything a girl
could ever wish for. Space is not the problem. When she
visits, she never sets foot in her own room or bathroom.
I haven't said anything to Jenna because I don't want to
upset her, but I think it's inappropriate for Jim to
continue allowing her to sleep with him. Should I let it
go? I have voiced my opinion before, and it has caused
several heated arguments. What are your thoughts on this?
-- SLEEPING WITH ONE EYE OPEN IN OKLAHOMA
SLEEPING: Although it is common for some parents to share
their bed with infants or toddlers, it is far less so for
a father and his teenage daughter. Jenna is no longer a
child, and frankly, to continue this practice is
inappropriate and potentially stimulating for both of them.
Clip this column and share it with Jim. Perhaps it will
help him to rethink his stance on this.
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ABBY: I consider myself a relatively "normal" female.
Although I'm a little reserved, I can usually open up to
new people. But I have one problem I'm afraid will cripple
my chances in dating -- talking on the phone. My mind goes
completely blank, and those terrible, awkward silences
slowly stretch ...
In person, I can read expressions, and it's easier for me
to communicate. But in this day and age we exchange phone
numbers first, and then -- maybe -- date. However, before
we even have a chance to sit face-to-face, I'm discounted.
Please help me. Is there any way I can be a better
conversationalist on the phone so I don't wind up an old
maid?
-- PHONE-PHOBIC IN TOPEKA
PHONE-PHOBIC: Not everyone is comfortable making small talk
on the phone. Instead of trying to fill up the "empty space"
with prattle, why not be up front about it? When someone you
have given your phone number to calls, talk for a few minutes,
then say: "You know, I hate talking on the phone. Let's meet
for a cup of coffee." That way you can put your best foot
forward and show your attributes to greater advantage.
ABBY: How old do I have to be before I can begin telling
my relatives exactly what I think of them? I am sick and
tired of being polite to these low-lifes! I want to give
them a piece of my mind before I leave this Earth. I am
presently 67 years old.
-- BITING TONGUE IN ZEPHYRHILLS, FLA.
BITING: I don't know how old your relatives are, but if
they're older than you are, you had better hurry.
ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
____________________________________________________________
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END OF ABBY
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