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THE DAILY GROANER - Thursday, May 15th 2008
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Good Morning Groanies,
Here's a list of people and the things that they do that
drive me absolutely insane! It mostly consists of people
that act like morons and do stupid crap. Basically, people
and things that raise my blood pressure.
1. People That Take Up Two Parking Spaces Because They
Can't Properly Park In One Space. Park In One Space
Like You Are Supposed To You Moron.
2. People That Talk On Their Cellphones While Shopping.
Shut Up And Shop. If You Want To Talk And Shop Then
Go Home And Shop Online And Talk To Your Friend. Stop
Annoying Me.
3. People That Interrupt Movies With Talking, Phone Calls
Or Food. I Paid To Listen To The People On The Screen
Talk, Not You. Shut Up Or Do The Universe A Favor And
Just Stay Home. You Rude Bunch Of Punks. And Don't Act
Like I'm The One Being Rude When I Ask You To "Zip It".
You're The One Being Rude To A Theater Full Of Paying
Customers. Show A Little Respect For Those Around You.
Just Clam Up.
4. People Who Wear Those Oversized Sunglasses That Take Up
Almost All Of Their Face. Why Do You Feel The Need To
Have Sunglasses That Big? Maybe You Need To Cover Your
Face. The Only People That Should Wear Glasses That Big
Are People That Have Giant Eyes Or That Forgot Their
Safety Goggles. Oversized Sunglasses Wearers You Look
Ridiculous.
5. People That Act Shocked When Gas Prices Rise In The
Summer Months. Gas Prices Go Up Every Summer Because
That Is When Most Families Go On Vacation. Duh! They
Want To Make More Money Off Of You So Naturally The
Prices Are Going To Go Up. Are You People New To The
Planet?
6. Politicians And Lawyers ('Nuff Said)
7. People That Let Their Pets Use Your Yard As A Toilet
And Then Don't Bother To Pick Up After Them. How Would
You Like It If I Dropped A Deuce In Your Yard And Just
Left It For You And The Neighborhood To Enjoy? I'll Be
Sure To Eat Chili Before Hand.
8. CATS! Need I Say More?
9. People That Dress Up Their Pets. There Is No Excuse For
That. Get Some Help, Please.
10. People Who Don't Wash Their Hands After Using The
Crapper. What Is Wrong With You? Are You Too Good
To Remove Germs And Fecal Matter From Your Hands
Before Heading Off? Or Are You One That Likes To
Share What They Have With Others? I Know That Sharing
Is Caring, But Please Wash The Crap Off Of Your Hands
Before You Do Anything Else. Come On, It's Not That
Difficult Or Time-Consuming.
I hope that this list has been informative and helpful to
my fellow Groanies out there. I need to go and lie down
now.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve
Looking for a Laugh? You'll find them on EVTV1.com:
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Q: What did the picture say to the wall?
A: "I've been framed."
Q: How is a cat drinking milk like a track star?
A: They both enjoy taking a few laps.
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