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Not the best end to a date.

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             CLEAN LAFFS - Monday, May 12, 2008
-----------------------------------------------------------


Good morning crew, 

I had a date on Saturday so I took her to a new place that 
just opened out in the burbs. It got a good review in the 
paper so I thought we'd give them a try. 

It was nice inside, if a bit cramped. The building used to 
be a bank so, basically, we were sitting in a lobby. But it 
was nicely decorated, they had installed hardwood floors 
and they had linen table clothes and everything, so I didn't 
mind the close quarters so much. 

I was perusing the menu, the critic in the paper had said 
that the house specialty, a filet with crab-stuffed giant 
shrimp was worth the money, when the waitress came to our 
table. 

"I've been starving myself all day for this meal," I told 
her. "I'll have the filet and crab-stuffed shrimp." 

"I'm sorry," she answered, "We're out of that." 

"Out of the filet, huh? Disappointing. Ummm...I'll just have 
the New York strip then." 

"We're out of that, too." 

"No steaks. Okay...I'll have the butterfly pork chop." 

She started to wince at me. 

"What? No pork chops, either? Let's make this easy on both 
of us...what DO you have?" 

She took the menu out of my hand and looked at it, "We 
have hamburgers, grilled chicken sandwiches, but we're out 
of the focaccia bread so you'll have to have it on a bun, 
ummm...we have the buffalo wings, cheese sticks and pizza." 

So, we drove 40 minutes for bar food. They were, however, 
very good burgers. And I also noticed that they had plenty 
of paper in stock on which to write the bill. 

Laugh it up, 

Joe 

P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum

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                            ***

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                            ***

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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race 
appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had 
children and so was all mankind made."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. 
The father answered, "Many ages ago there were monkeys from 
which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, 
how is it possible that you told me the human race was 
created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told 
you about my side of the family and your father told you 
about his."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Jake is five years old and learning to read. He points to a 
picture in a zoo book and says, "Look, Mama! It's a frickin' 
elephant!"

Deep breath... "What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' elephant, Mama!  It says so on the picture!"

and so it does... "A f r i c a n Elephant."

Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?

____________________________________________________________


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