Publication: Clean Laffs
I'm also available for parties. | |
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CLEAN LAFFS - Monday, March 24, 2008
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Good morning crew,
I just read a story online about the 100 best companies to
work for in America. At the top of the list was Google. It
seems that among the benefits and perks that Google offers
its employees are a cafeteria that offers three meals a day,
for free, and an onsite gym and game room...also free. This
is, of course, in addition to the more fundamental benefits
like health, dental and vision insurance, etc, all free.
Sure, GopherCentral doesn't have a cafeteria. There is a
vending machine, but it's in the lobby, and the Frosted
Donut Gems always seem to be stale. And we don't have a gym,
but when the elevators in the building are out of order it
does give us an opportunity to get our heart rates up by
walking up the stairs to the fourth floor. And we don't
have a game room, but we like the think of the Internet
as our playground.
No, the real benefit of working at GopherCentral is the
opportunity to hang out with old Clean Laffs Joe for eight
and a half hours a day. I'm also available for parties.
Laugh it up,
Joe
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum
***
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***
"Starbucks has canceled its plans to sell a one-dollar cup
of coffee. A company spokesman said, 'You'll still be able
to get a one-dollar cup of coffee at Starbucks but it's
going to cost you eight bucks.'" -Conan O'Brien
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"U.S. officials have now approved the first anti-obesity
drug for dogs. I'm no veterinarian, but if your dog is
over eating, try putting a little less food in the bowl.
Do we really need to give him a pill? Is the dog taking
your car keys and driving to McDonalds?" --Jay Leno
***
"How about this? On this very day in 1861, the first
elevator was introduced here in New York City. First
elevator ever in New York City, or, as we call them now,
restrooms. And it took them ten more years to develop
the 'ding.'" --Dave Letterman
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It was just another day at the DMV. I had taken a woman out
on her driving test when a police cruiser came up behind
us--sirens wailing, lights flashing.
"Was I speeding?" she asked the officer, after both cars
pulled over.
"No," said the officer. "But you are driving a stolen
vehicle."
Smiling awkwardly, the woman turned to me. "Does this mean
I failed my test?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
While carpenters were working outside the old house I had
just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had
just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen
asked to use the bathroom.
With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly
scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a
quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers."
"It's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained."
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END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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