Publication: Clean Laffs
That's the American way. | |
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CLEAN LAFFS - Thursday, May 8, 2008
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Good morning crew,
I've been a good boy all week. For the last three nights
I've either been at the gym or home. I am even caught up
on all of my bills and my laundry. So I feel like I owe it
to myself to go out tonight, spend more money than I can
afford and stay out much later than I should.
Because that's the American way.
Laugh it up,
Joe
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum
***
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***
"Microsoft has offered to buy Yahoo! for $46 billion. I don't
think President Bush understands how these Internet companies
work. Like today he said, 'Why would Microsoft be interested
in a chocolate drink?'" -Jay Leno
***
"They're saying $10 gas by Labor Day. Hillary Clinton says
she supports a summer gas tax holiday. I don't know what
that means exactly, but I will says I am in favor of any
holiday that doesn't involve relatives." -Dave Letterman
***
"The other day at a campaign stop in Indiana, Barack Obama
lost a game of pick-up basketball to a 14-year-old. Mean-
while, across town, Hillary Clinton single-handedly defeated
the entire women's field hockey team." -Conan O'Brien
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To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called he
church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of
her baptismal certificate. We lived there for only a short
while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary
asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't
remember.
After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about
the name of the baby's father."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in
Huntington Beach, CA. Our waitress looked like a real surfer
girl: athletic with a great tan and blond hair. Mulling over
the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare.
The waitress gave us a long blank look, and then replied,
"Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day."
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END OF CLEAN LAFFS
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