Publication: Clean Laffs
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CLEAN LAFFS - Tuesday, March 25, 2008
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Good morning crew,
It was 32 degrees Fahrenheit this morning. Perfect Spring
weather. If this global warming keeps up we're going to
have snow all the way through April.
Laugh it up,
Joe
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum
***
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***
"Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is threatening to sue one
of her biggest fans because he's trying to put out a Harry
Potter encyclopedia. The man says he's not happy about being
sued by Rowling — but at least it's technically some form
of contact with a girl." -Conan O'Brien
***
"According to Glamour magazine, 83 percent of women tell
their friends secrets to their husbands. So women, if you
tell your girlfriend something, 83 percent chance she will
tell her husband. But the good news? One hundred percent
of the men aren't listening anyway." -Jay Leno
***
"Steven Segal is blaming the FBI for ruining his movie
career. He said he's not getting the movie roles that he
wants because of a false FBI investigation. The FBI issued
a response and said, 'It is our job to stop people from
making bombs.'" -Craig Ferguson
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Tired of super-hectic Christmas mornings, I was pleased to
find a recipe called "Christmas Morning Wifesaver Breakfast."
I prepared the breakfast the night before so that it could
be put in the oven while we opened our gifts with our four
small children.
It was delicious.
Next year I followed the "tradition" and prepared the same
breakfast. After everyone was seated I put the casserole on
the table. My five-year-old exclaimed disgustedly, "This
again!"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie
popped up out of his ashtray.
"And what will your third wish be?"
The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be
getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second
wish yet?"
"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your
second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was
before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing,
because everything is the way it was before you made any
wishes. You now have one wish left."
"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the
heck. I've always wanted to understand women. I'd love to
know what's going on inside their heads."
"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and dis-
appeared forever, "That was your first wish, too!"
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END OF CLEAN LAFFS
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