Publication: Clean Laffs
I was fantasizing. | |
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CLEAN LAFFS - Thursday, April 17, 2008
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Good morning crew,
I'd like to thank everybody who wrote in with their opinions
on town homes versus condos versus single family homes. Just
as I guessed about half of the respondents suggested I go
for the town home and the other half suggested I stay in the
condo and wait to buy a house.
Eh, I probably couldn't afford the mortgage anyway. I guess
I was just fantasizing.
Laugh it up,
Joe
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum
***
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***
"Taxes were due today. I don't like writing the check. I
thought we were supposed to be passing the irresponsible
spending onto our grandchildren. What happened to that?"
-Jimmy Kimmel
***
"In a recent interview, Brad Pitt said he and Angelina Jolie
would like to have another baby. Angelina denied the story
and said, 'Brad must have misunderstood when I said I was in
the mood for Chinese.'" -Conan O'Brien
***
"According to a new medical study, barbecuing is bad for
your prostate. Well, I'm glad they got this out in time.
I was going to barbecue my prostate this weekend. I had no
idea it's bad for you." -Jay Leno
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The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the
amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for
the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago),
but because nobody else could use the phone.
So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for
her with her own private number and directory listing.
Two or three days after her telephone had been installed,
he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with
her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the
family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently
on her dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," he
yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?"
"I can't," she said, "I'm expecting an important call on my
phone."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his
latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape.
His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news.
Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking
little traveled routes, running across deserted fields and
taking every precaution he could think of.
Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell.
His wife opened the door and bellowed at him, "You good-for-
nothing bum! Where the hell have ya been? You escaped over
12 hours ago."
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