Publication: Clean Laffs
Then I'd be a daddy. | |
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CLEAN LAFFS - Thursday, April 3, 2008
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Good morning crew,
It's getting kind of lonely in my apartment. At the end of
the day all I have to come home to is a fridge packed with
ice cold beer, a quiet, undisturbed environment and an over-
stuffed La-Z-Boy recliner sitting in front of a TV with 18
movie channels on it.
How can I continue to live like that?
So I'm thinking about getting a fish. Something simple,
like one of those goldfish that looks like their brain is
outside of their skull. I actually stopped into a pet shop
the other day and was talking to the guy about it.
I can get the whole kit; tank, filter, water conditioner
and even the fish for under fifty bucks.
Just think...then I'd be a daddy.
Laugh it up,
Joe
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum
***
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***
"The honeymoon is over when he phones to say he'll be late
for supper and she's already left a note that it's in the
refrigerator." --Bill Lawrence
***
"Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same
thing to me: "Basement?" --Rodney Dangerfield
***
"It's good to be back in New York but the crime situation
has gotten bad. When I was getting off the plane I saw the
pilot putting the 'club' on the steering wheel."
--John Mendoza
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Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends
were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke
was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he
was dreading the payback he knew was coming.
Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No
one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this
couple should not be married'. His reception wasn't dis-
rupted by streakers or smoke-bombs, and the car the couple
was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order.
When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room,
Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had
always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that
he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed.
Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down
to room service and asked, "I'd like to order breakfast for
two."
At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, "Make
that five."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
A young woman was worried about her stress-related habit
of biting her fingernails down to the quick, so her friend
advised her to take up yoga. She did, and soon her finger-
nails were growing normally.
Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervous-
ness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails
so I bite them instead."
____________________________________________________________
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END OF CLEAN LAFFS
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