Publication: Clean Laffs
I'll be celebrating Diez de Mayo. | |
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CLEAN LAFFS - Monday, May 5, 2008
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Good morning crew,
Hey! It's Cinco de Mayo. This important holiday commemorates
the victory of the Mexican militia over the French army at
The Battle Of Puebla in 1862. While this is a Mexican holiday,
that small detail doesn't deter millions of Americans from
pouring into bars and drowning themselves in Corona, Dos Equis
and Tecate.
Unfortunately, as this is a Monday, I won't be drowning myself
in anything. Particularly since there is a promotion test
coming up this weekend and I have to be at the gym tonight.
Now Diez de Mayo, there is a holiday I will be able to
celebrate!
Laugh it up,
Joe
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum
***
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"Earlier today, Chinese officials held a ceremony to an-
nounce that it's exactly 100 days until the summer Olympics
and they're working hard to clean up Beijing's pollution.
Unfortunately, they had to cut the ceremony short — because
the air caught on fire." -Conan O'Brien
***
"I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman
with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's
willing to make a decision she'll regret in the future."
--Richard Jeni
***
"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity,
and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."
--Joseph Heller
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** Top Ten Signs it's Monday **
10. Yesterday was Tuesday and tomorrow is Sunday... at least
that is what you are thinking.
9. The President looks hungover as he issues his weekly apology
to the nation.
8. Another knee-slapping cartoon of that darn Garfield saying
"I hate Monday!"
7. You're happy to go to work in order to get some rest.
6. In your current opinion five days is a long time.
5. You break down into a sobbing mess on the floor because
there was no coffee left in the pot when you got to work.
4. You are half way to work before you realize you have been
listening to "Rev. Carl's Bible Hour" on your car radio.
3. You've already planned several thousand ways to avoid
actually doing work until Friday.
2. Husband begins warming up TV for Monday Night Football at
6 A.M. and carefully positioning snacks at strategic locations
around the living room.
1. The solid rain for the past two days has stopped, leaving
a beautiful, sunny day.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended
up in the hospital. His best friend Morris came to visit him.
Bernie struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sadie visits me
three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads
to me at the bedside."
"What does she read?" asks Morris.
"My life insurance policy."
____________________________________________________________
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END OF CLEAN LAFFS
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