Publication: Clean Laffs
It's so unappetizing. | |
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CLEAN LAFFS - Monday, April 7, 2008
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Good morning crew,
I had to do it. I had to break down and make an appointment
with the dentist. I really don't like this guy. He is a
giant Greek who barely speaks English and his hands are the
size of bear claws. Plus, his forearms are covered in a
thick, chestnut brown fur. It's just unappetizing.
Before the last time I went to him I tried finding another
dentist in the area, but the only other dentist within 20
miles who is in our insurance plan was not taking any new
patients.
If I could just get him to stop trying to fit both of his
hands inside my mouth up to the wrists it wouldn't be so
bad.
Laugh it up,
Joe
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum
***
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***
"Barack Obama said today that he would consider Al Gore to
be in his Cabinet. Al Gore said he would do it as long as
it was full of Twinkies." -Craig Ferguson
***
"Wal-Mart says it classifies its customers into three
groups: brand aspirationals, price sensitive affluents, and
value-price shoppers. Wal-Mart says the new categories will
replace the old customer classifications: teeth or no teeth."
--Conan O'Brien
***
"The music industry is stumped by the huge drop in sales of
rap music. Sales of rap music down 21 percent this past year.
A lot of rappers have had to cut back on their lifestyle. A
lot of rappers getting rid of the gold teeth. They're going
with aluminum siding...it's cheaper." -Jay Leno
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My little niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to church
for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children
cup their hands, and when he gives them the "Host," in this
case, a piece of bread, he says, "God be with you."
Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She
came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend
down. Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed
it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic
voice, "God will get you."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-
boyfriend."
"I know, but I don't hold any grudges."
"I'm surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out
with her."
"Well, I had to swear to him she's Jennifer Lopez's double."
"Wow! Is that true?"
"I wouldn't lie. She's twice her weight and twice her age."
____________________________________________________________
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END OF CLEAN LAFFS
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