Publication: Clean Laffs
Intimidate friends and family. | |
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CLEAN LAFFS - Friday, March 21, 2008
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Good morning crew,
Easter weekend is here! Unless you're not Christian in which
case it's the fourth weekend in March.
Easter is, of course, a celebration of the Resurrection, but
let's not be hypocrites. The real reason we look forward to
Easter is ham!
Honey baked ham and hard boiled eggs. And let's not forget
the scalloped potatoes with cheddar cheese, quiche, green
bean casserole, home made hot cross buns and cobbler.
I'm not going to have time to color any eggs this weekend,
which is fine, since I'm not Persian or Macedonian.
The Persians were the first to use colored eggs to celebrate
spring in 3,000 B.C. 13th century Macedonians were the first
Christians on record to use colored eggs in Easter cele-
brations.
Crusaders returning from the Middle East spread the custom
of coloring eggs, and Europeans began to use them to
celebrate Easter.
Now you have a bit of trivia to intimidate friends and family
with this weekend.
Laugh it up,
Joe
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum
***
SET OF TWO 5" FLAMELESS ON/OFF PILLAR CANDLES
Normal Price: $19.99 each
DEAL PRICE: $14.99 for a Set of Two Candles
It looks like a regular candle, it flickers like a regular
candle, but it is so much easier and safer!
No heat, no melted wax to clean up. This is perfect for use
outside because the "flame" won't blow out, and perfect for
inside events because there is no danger or mess. Use it alone
or in your favorite holder or sconce. The light flickers exactly
like a wick flame. 5" tall, 3" diameter. A neat idea for your
kid's or teen's room where you might not want an open flame. Take
it with you on your travels to make hotel rooms feel like home.
This battery operated LED flickering pillar candle can be used
anywhere you would use a regular pillar candle, and many places
you wouldn't. To see a picture or order visit:
SET OF TWO 5" FLAMELESS ON/OFF PILLAR CANDLES
***
"According to USA Today, Starbucks in going to market an
energy drink. It's for people who get tired while waiting
in line at Starbucks." --Conan O'Brien
***
"It's time to pay your income tax. My accountant wants me
to move the show to the Cayman Islands." -David Letterman
***
"John McCain is in Iraq this week. He said his goal as
president would be to introduce the Iraqi people to the
concept of the early bird special." -Jay Leno
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RC SMART MINI HELICOPTER
The smallest & most powerful mini RC...
Store Price: $59.99
DEAL PRICE: $29.99 or get two for $49.98
The name says it all... this is one smart RC toy. And I
hesitate to call it a toy because the technology behind this
is cutting edge.
FEATURES:
- Infrared Radio Controlled Smart Helicopter
- Light weight, only 10g
- 2 Channel proportional infra red control system
- Built in Ni-Cad Battery
- Band A, B & C allows 3 models to fly together
- Unique material can withstand crashes
- Auto stability system make it easy to operate indoors
- 5-8 mins flight time for fully charged
- Integrated Radio Controller Charger
This is pure fun and at this price you just can't pass it up.
Remember, you can get two for less than the normal price of
one. Today's Deal of the Day
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My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window
and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I
also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much
money."
I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a
dollar bill back."
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat
my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and
said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing."
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in
change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a
kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant,
a spleen transplant, a pancreas transplant..."
"What on Earth makes you think you need all those?"
"Well," replied the patient, "My boss said if I want to keep
my job I needed to get reorganized."
____________________________________________________________
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END OF CLEAN LAFFS
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