Publication: Classic Bizarre
Mother Shoots Child With A BB Gun | |
Subscribe FREE to Classic Bizarre by clicking here.
<<<<<<<<<<< From the Bizarre News Archives >>>>>>>>>>>
CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Friday, February 20, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most bizarre stories EVER."
------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
I don't know if there happens to be more of these stories in
the news lately, of if I am just noticing them because of
the stir generated by the screaming torture-dolls discussed
in Saturday's issue, but violence involving children seems
to be a hot topic this week.
The first story to catch my eye concerned a Texas man who
disciplined his 8-year-old son for missing the school bus
by zapping him with a stun gun. I'm not exactly sure what
the state recognized definition of child abuse is, but this
must fall under it. Incredibly, the man defended his actions
by explaining that he tested the device, for which he traded
a pack of cigarettes, on himself, a neighbor and his wife
before using it on his son. Well, then, it must be alright.
If you try real hard you can almost see the T-shirt, mustache
and Marlboro cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
In the same vein comes a Florida woman who had little patience
for her 10-year-old son's antics. While on their way to the
store the boy climbed a tree and refused to come down. Instead
of arguing with him the mother produced a BB gun (which she
must carry in her purse) and shot him in the arm. We can only
assume he came down after that.
Being a father myself, I understand the importance of disci-
pline. But these kinds of actions step right over the edge
of common sense, much less discipline. It's important to
remember the word discipline means to teach. What is the
lesson of meaningless violence?
Ponder that one while I go home and spank my wife. I want to
test it out on her before I do it to my kids!
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum
------------------------------------------------------------
+---------------- Bizarre February Holidays ---------------+
Go to www.bizarrenews.com and read about these bizarre
holidays and more!
Bizarre News
------------------------------------------------------------
---------- Aliens To Humans: "You Guys Are Swell" ----------
CANADA - According to a Canadian anthropologist, people who
experience alien abduction can be positively affected. Krista
Henriksen says that her study of people who say they have been
abducted at some point suggest that aliens are quite congenial.
She claims that horrifying alien encounters are "by far the
minority." According to her research, "Most often extraterrest-
rials were bringing messages of goodwill." Abductees report
that aliens are telling earthlings they are special and are
not alone in the universe. So next time an alien brings you
aboard their spacecraft, leave the probe-protector underwear
at home.
------------------------------------------------------------
Charlie Chan Says: Number ONE DVD Collection
Store Price: $129.99
DEAL PRICE: $89.99
OK, if you EVER liked the classic Charlie Chan movie series
from the 30s and 40s, here is your chance to own EVERY Chan
classic ever made. 42 feature films on 14 DVDs will make
your DVD collection sterling. Now here is the best thing;
All of these can be yours for a $40 savings. This lovingly
restored collection was $129.99 and now can be yours for
only $89.99. That’s right almost $2 per feature film. It
would cost you more to rent than to purchase these.
Order this collection now. This makes a great gift item for
those over 50 who grew up watching this classic series.
Charlie Chan Complete Platinum DVD Collection
------------------------------------------------------------
--------------- Talk About A Speedy Entrance ---------------
Fadia Hoffman, 33, gave birth to her son Breden Edward in five
minutes while she was standing in her kitchen talking on the
phone. The baby wasn't due for another three weeks. That mor-
ning Hoffman woke up feeling funny, but not having any cont-
ractions. She called the hospital, but within a few minutes
her water broke. "It popped out like an alien," she said. "It
just flew on the floor." The baby is safe and healthy.
---------- Now Stink Like Oktoberfest Year-Round! ----------
MUNICH, Germany - A German perfume creator has managed to
capture the essence of Munich's famous Oktoberfest, an annual
homage to beer. Inventor Peter Inselkammer is the mastermind
behind the new fragrance that reeks of rancid beer and
cigarette butts. Festival-goers can purchase the pungent
aroma, 'Armbrustschuetzenselt' Crossbow Tent, for around 95
pounds. So, if you're looking to repel beautiful women and
smell like a tavern floor, just look for the pen-shaped
bottle at this year's Oktoberfest.
------------------------------------------------------------
. . . . . . . . . . BIG Desktop Calculator. . . . . . . . .
Normal Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $1.99
This stylish and functional Calculator is perfect to keep on
your desk or countertop. Also great for the workplace. B-I-G
& easy to push keys make it simple to use. (I have one on my
desk)
FEATURES INCLUDE:
- 8 Digit Display - Auto Power Off - Adjustable Head
- Solar Powered - Memory Keys - Big Display
Pick up one, two or more. Remember this item is a Deal of
The Day offer and can be removed or the price raised at any
time. So order at this low price of $1.99.
Calculator Measure 5 3/4" x 6 1/2" - Sorry there is a limit
of 6 per order. Just visit us to see it or to order at:
BIG Desktop Calculator for JUST $1.99
------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------- Painful Getaway ---------------------
NORTH MIAMI BEACH, Florida - In a valiant and, unfortunately,
successful effort, a bank robber in Florida made out with a
bag of cash after a couple of painful mishaps. Not only did
the man accidentally shoot himself with the semi-automatic
pistol that he threatened the cashier with, he was then hit
by a van as he fled the bank. The man was helped out from
underneath the vehicle by unsuspecting pedestrians and pro-
ceeded to escape in an awaiting getaway car. Police are now
hot on the case in search of a rich man with a bullet wound
and tire tracks.
--------------------- Honey, I'm Home! ---------------------
Stefan Szekesy, 48, returned to Avrig, Romania after working
in Hungary and Germany for eight years to find that his wife
had declared him dead so she could inherit his estate. Valerica
Szekesy, 37, had declared her husband dead one year after he
left claiming she hadn't heard from him in a few months and
she was sure he was dead. Stefan said he will launch legal
action against his wife, who was living in his home with
another man, to regain his f20,000 estate. He said, "I've
not been dead ever, not even for a second."
------------------------------------------------------------
GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Do you believe a North American Union (NAU) among Mexico,
Canada and the US is a good idea?
Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------
Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I just came back from a holiday in Austria and Vienna, at
least, is chock full of statues, but the vast majority of
them seem to be based on mythological themes like Hercules
and Neptune, but the coolest ones were the sphinxes with
boobs. --Mike
[I agree. There is nothing like marble boobies.]
Quetzal sighting! I was in the lobby of a hotel when i saw
a leaflet for QUETZAL INTERNET CAFE. "Egad," i thought. The
alien fiend has started its own business in SF (i suppose
that would be a good place for him...) Thought you'd like
to know. Love your publication. it makes me conversationally
acceptable in social situations. -Non-Sequitur Kitten
[I was wondering when that devious alien would show up again.
An internet cafe in California makes perfect sense! Thanks
for the update.]
But supposing TWO swallows carried the sturgeon together?
[They'd have to have it on a line. Maybe a strand of creeper!]
4 out of 5 sturgeons agree, fishing can be hazardous to your
health.
I would have to say I would much rather see a statue of
Arnold than Michael Jordan, what was he famous for again
- sleeping with 20,000 women? --wendy
[Nope. That's Wilt Chamberlain.]
please don't call keanu a walking vegetable u poof! i've met
him twice, and i can tell u he is the most humble and gorgeus
celebrity ever. --neomatrixgirl
[I didn't say that he wasn't humble or gorgeous...I said he
couldn't act.]
Dear Santa - I am a 5 year old sadist. Could you please bring
me a Stretch Screamer? And some whips & chains would be nice
too. Love, Billy
[You're a sick one.]
Lewis, We don't have Halloween in Australia. It is very
important for a child growing up in today's society to have
some sort of contact with truly macabre things to help them
deal with real life, and Stretch Screamers are an excellent
teaching tool. And besides, haven't feminists been telling
us for decades how psychologically damaging Barbie dolls
are? --susan
[Are you suggesting that teaching children to torture small
objects is healthy? So tell me...how many amputee Barbies do
you have? Of course, my favorite is 'cigarette burn' Barbie.]
Hey Lewis. Are you going to come out with a new book soon?
I've read the other two so many times that they're falling
apart. Thanks, Trish
[I'd love to get started, but I have to sell off the last
book before the boss will let me work on the next one! If
you are interested in some bizarre, uncensored stories,
click on the link at the bottom of the page and take a look.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to:
Email Lewis
------------------------------------------------------------
Not Enough Bizarre In This Issue? Then Visit EVTV1.com:
Bizarre Videos
Archive link:
Classic Bizarre Archives
-----------------------------------------------------------
MORE FUN, AMUSEMENT AND PUBS:
More F-R-E-E Newsletters Here
------------------------------------------------------------
END OF CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS
http://www.bizarrenews.com
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
 E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Classic Bizarre by clicking here.
|