Publication: Classic Bizarre
Living Fossils | |
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CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Friday, February, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most bizarre stories EVER."
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:
While helping my son do research for a paper on dinosaurs
recently I came across an unusual term...living fossils.
A living fossil is an animal that was once known only by
its fossilized bones. They were believed to have been
extinct for millions of years. But then, to the embarras-
sment of scientists, these animals were later found to be
alive in remote parts of the world.
One of the most notable examples of these "living fossils"
is the okapi. The okapi was once thought to have been
extinct until they were found still living in the dense
rain forests of Zaire. As the closest living relative to
the giraffe, these animals were once used as evidence that
the horse had evolved.
But there is another, less widely used definition of "living
fossil." In 1818, a geologist named Dr. Edward D. Clarke was
looking for fossils in a chalk quarry 270 feet underground.
Dr. Clarke found some fossilized sea urchins and newts. He
dug three well-preserved newts out and placed them on paper
in the sun. To his astonishment, they began to move around.
Two of the newts died shortly, but the third remained alive.
Dr. Clarke claimed the newts were unlike any other living at
the time and were an extinct species unknown to science.
Had they survived for thousands of years in their rock tombs?
There are literally dozens of reports of people who have
found living animals trapped in stones, tree trunks, or other
formations, sometimes hundreds of feet below the earth's
surface. In every report, the animal (usually a frog or toad)
is found as a rock was split open or a tree trunk was being
sawed, with no possible way for the creature to end up inside
the cavity of the stone or tree.
Is this one of science's oldest hoaxes or are there prehistoric
monsters lying catatonic hundreds of feet underground all over
the Earth? I know it sounds bizarre, but it does fit nicely
with certain other unexplainable phenomenon...the Lock Ness
Monster being one.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum
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+---------------- Bizarre February Holidays ---------------+
Go to www.bizarrenews.com and read about these bizarre
holidays and more!
Bizarre News
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--------------- Thousands Flock To Fake Rock ---------------
OULU, FINLAND - An audience of more than 2,500 gathered in
Finland to witness the sixth annual air guitar world champion-
ship in the summer of 2002. Twelve finalists from eight
different countries swallowed their pride and wailed away on
invisible six-strings, hoping to win the title and the grand
prize of a real guitar. While the act may seem shameful, jury
head Juha Torvinen claims, "One should not be ashamed of play-
ing air guitar. It's like masturbation. Everyone did it at
some point." Although the competitors' props may have been
invisible, their talent shone as bright as a rock star.
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----------- Russian Advertising Gone To The Dogs -----------
PENZA, Russia - As competition between rival stores in Penza
escalates, Russian shop owners have found a new way to ad-
vertise. With the use of sausages and cutlets, workers are
luring stray dogs into their shops and spray-painting them
with their store's logo. In order to turn a profit, homeless
canines are being turned into walking billboards promoting
store icons and the items they sell. The marketing battle has
become so intense that layers of paint are accumulating on
dogs as shop owners paint over other logos and replace them
with theirs. And who said the advertising industry wasn't a
dog-eat-dog business?
-------------------- Internet Funerals ---------------------
Two cemeteries in Perth are offering to "web-cast" funeral
services for family and friends who can't make it to the real
thing. Relatives ordering the web-casts are given a password
to access live footage of the funeral. A simple web-cast costs
$110, another $110 buys either a delayed broadcast of the ser-
vice, held on the Internet for 30 days, or a DVD or video recor-
ding of the service. Customers who want all three options pay
$275. Michael Duff of the Metropolitan Cemeteries Board said
the MCB is making no profit from the service.
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------ 'Iron-Fist' Snow White and the Seven Shao Lin -------
HOLLYWOOD - It's about time somebody updated the classic
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs with a little high-powered
martial arts action. Disney is negotiating with the
Chinese choreographer of ground-breaking action films "The
Matrix" and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," to direct a
live-action take on the popular fairy tale. The "Snow" up-
date is set in the 1890s and follows a woman who returns
home to Hong Kong to attend her father's funeral after 20
years abroad. She discovers that her stepmother is plotting
against her and escapes to mainland China, where she seeks
solace with seven Shao Lin monks who protect her.
----------- Disembowelment: Harder Than You Think ----------
KAZAKHSTAN - In an extreme protest against prison conditions,
43 inmates at the Kazakhstan's Aktubinsk penal colony threat-
ened officials with a mass suicide. However, the attempt
failed as prisoners endeavored to complete the difficult task
of self-disembowelment by shoe horn. Although commonly
perceived as deadly, the shoe horn stabbing limited the in-
mates to minor injuries. After their bizarre stunt, prisoners
ended up with further criminal charges against them. The
added penalties will give inmates more time to think of tools
that may inflict a little more bodily harm next time.
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Do you believe a North American Union (NAU) among Mexico,
Canada and the US is a good idea?
Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
Question of the Week
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Got a question for you, is all the stuff T.Z. has been
saying about you true? For that matter is any of the stuff
that T.Z. been saying true? And how bad is your wife's
meatloaf? --Dave
[TZ's mind is like a fun-house mirror. Everything reflected
in it is a distorted version of the truth. Plus, I would
like to defend my wife's meatloaf in that it is mostly made
of meat and is usually in a loaf-shape.]
Do you want people to forward your newsletter? Here's how:
Tell them that if they forward it to six people, the Taco
Bell dog will appear on their screen. There are plenty of
people who will buy that load of crap. - Monica
Hey Lewis, are you more embarrassed by the actions of those
guys at the White Sox game, or the fact that you are a White
Sox fan? -Dawn Siepka, Cubs Fan
[The faithful have always had to endure persecution.]
Reminds me of the WKRP episode, where they were going to
give out Thanksgiving turkeys tossed from a helicopter. The
station manager came staggering back in after the attempt
saying, "with God as my witness, I thought turkeys could
fly." --Pamella King
[I thought of the same thing.]
I don't know how you do it but you are one out of hundreds
of emails a day I get that I never immediately delete, I
always read every-bit. --dave
[It takes talent, dedication and a complete lack of ]
Hey Lewis, Love your newsletter. I am also subscribed to Up
Yours! and I used to be subscribed to Way Wierd. Why did
they do away with it. One day they just quit sending it.
--vicki
[You're subscribed to Up Yours! I'm sorry to hear that. As
far as Way Weird is concerned, I'm afraid I've never heard
of that publication.]
Pay attention to where your stories are coming from. There
are no sturgeon in south Florida. Sturgeon are found almost
at the Georgia border in the Suwanee river. Here in south
Florida we have barracuda jump into the boats and idiots
who can't vote. -Russell
[Maybe they're migratory.]
While I hesitate to defend Jersey City, releasing birds
isn't as simple as one might think. A friend of mine is
a stage actor. When he was in acting school, one of the
student performances called for a release of pigeons.
What these students didn't take into account is that heat
from the stage lighting was trapped above the stage, much
like conditions in an Easy-Bake oven. So when the cage
was dumped late in the show, what they got wasn't a flight
of pigeons, but a deluge of roasted squab.
[At least the crew got a free lunch.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
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