Publication: Classic Bizarre
Gunning Down Stray Cattle | |
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CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, November 13, 2006
"A wild journey into the history of the most bizarre stories EVER."
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
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Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
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Greetings Fellow Bizarros:
Here's a tid bit I just read on the Sacramento Bee's web
page. It seems that the California Highway Patrol, in an
effort to protect life and property, have begun gunning
down stray cattle that wander too near the highways. An
angry cattle owner in Santa Maria complained Monday there
was no reason for Highway Patrol officers to gun down six
heifer cows that escaped their grazing site and loitered
for hours near coastal Highway 1.
Reportedly, officers tried to find the cattle's owner for
three hours before opening fire. "They didn't have to shoot
'em," complained owner Albert Silva. "Would they have shot
them if there was 20 head of cattle?" You can understand his
consternation. Silva said the cattle were worth about $700
each.
He makes a good point, though. A cow wandering onto an ex-
pressway could cause a very serious accident, but at what
point does it cease to be a public safety issue and turn
into a wholesale slaughter?
I'm not necessarily saying it was a right or wrong thing to
do. It just occurs to me that last month I was watching a
program on The Animal Planet about a rescue that was mounted
to dig a puppy out of a storm drain. The dog had become stuck
about 20 yards into the drain and rescue workers had to dig
a tunnel six feet down to the pipe, which they then had to
break open with sledgehammers, in order to reach the pup.
In one part of the country they are spending hundreds of man
hours rescuing puppies and in Cali they're dropping cattle
on the side of the road with semi-automatic weapons. I think
we need to set some priorities.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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+--------------- Bizarre International Laws ---------------+
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***
------ Horny Dolphin Becomes Major Tourist Attraction ------
LONDON - Swimmers have been warned to stay away from a sex-
ually frustrated dolphin off a seaside resort after it tried
to lure unwary humans out to sea in a bid to mate with them.
"This dolphin gets very sexually aggressive. He has already
attempted to mate with some divers," U.S. marine expert Ric
O'Barry told a local paper. "When dolphins get sexually
excited, they try to isolate a swimmer, normally female.
They do this by circling around the individual and gradually
move them away from the beach." This is not encouraged, how-
ever, since adult dolphins, usually in the neighborhood of
400 pounds, could easily drown a human during foreplay.
Since his arrival, the dolphin has become a major attraction
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----------- Gay Rodeo Features Goats in Bikinis ------------
Utah State Fairpark was host last week to the third annual
Gay Pride Rodeo. This is an opportunity for homosexuals from
a rural background to feel open and comfortable about their
orientation while harassing farm animals. And just to make
things interesting the rodeo featured, along with the usual
lassoing and bull-riding, the note-worthy "goat-dressing"
event. This requires two-person teams to dash 50 yards to a
tethered goat, flip up its hind legs and strap on a pair of
bikini briefs. Results were not published.
------- Crazy Cocaine Smugglers Crack Under Pressure -------
BOGATA, Columbia - A group of drug runners may have been
sampling too much of their own product when they dumped
millions of dollars worth of cocaine into the ocean, stripped
off their clothes, doused themselves with gasoline and then
rammed a U.S. Navy vessel with their speedboat. Officials
said that American sailors aboard the USS De Werth had
spotted the men and what they suspected to be their cocaine-
laden boat while on routine patrol in international waters
off Colombia's main Pacific coast port of Buena Ventura.
the cocaine was recovered and the unlucky smugglers, one of
whom was injured in the high seas collision, were all taken
into custody.
-- Crime Victims Becoming Inconvenience for Cal Shoppers ---
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. - "Pretty callous" is how the Santa Cruz
police chief describes it. Convenience store surveillance
tapes show a man being shot in the back of the head in what
police believe was a gang dispute. But before police arrived
on the scene business continued as usual. The tapes showed
customers continuing their shopping while the victim was on
the floor, even stepping over the dying man to get to the
counter. The man later died at a hospital.
[Thanks to azcentral.com for this disturbing story.]
--- Newest Advancement in Technology: Vibrators for Pigs ---
BELGIUM - Inspired by human sex toys, a Belgian company has
invented the first vibrator for pigs. The creators of the
MS Reflexator thought the pleasant vibrations would make the
artificial insemination process more enjoyable for the animals.
The vibrator is connected with a tube to a syringe with the
boar's sperm. As the pig becomes sexually stimulated, the
sperm is able to glide more easily into her. A spokesperson
said, "Normally the pigs act as if they don't care about what
is going on. But by using the Reflexator the pigs show they
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, YOU are the reason I have a computer. You're totally
bizarre!
[And YOU are the reason I have a job. You keep reading and
I'll keep writing.]
Lewis, in your listing of June dates, you posted repeat day
twi--ohhhh, I get it! Ha ha ha! Seriously, though, that was
pretty clever. A 5 cent piece is spelled "nickel," however.
[Thanks for the correction.]
Hey Lew...what happened to tz?
[We're not sure, but we think it's congenital.]
A woman phoned a breast cancer screening hotline and asked
if she needed to make an appointment to visit one of the
mobile screening vans or if she could just go up to it,
knock on the door, and be taken right away. The response
was that given the nature of the van, knockers were welcome.
[That's my motto.]
I can just imagine..."So, like, in the beginning, this God
dude created the heaven and the earth. And the Earth was,
like, shapeless and all..." Is that what the Surfer's Bible
is like?
[Totally.]
A zombie? Isn't that what they use on ice hockey rinks! -Norm
[Sorry, Norm. That's a Spumoni.]
Great issue, Lewis (of course, they all are!) I've partici-
pated in 4 out of 5 of your "pointers," do I get anything for
that? --Mel
[Penicillin?]
I loved your sex tips! I immediately e-mailed them to my
husband (since he spends more time on his computer than on
me.) --Janis
[So once again it's the man's responsibility to initiate, is
that it? You know, there's no reason you can't come home with
a bottle of baby oil and a roll of breath mints.]
Lewis, All I have to say is, "Use the mints." --Maggie
[Spoken like a true adventurer.]
I can't get enough bizarre news! My hubby says I am addicted!
Thanks for the fun. --linda
[You're not alone, Linda. There's a support group for people
just like you. They meet online every Wednesday and Saturday
morning...]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
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