Publication: Bizarre News
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BIZARRE NEWS - Wednesday, April 30, 2008
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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All of you Bizarre News fans can now get your exclusive
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:
A 47-year-old Texas man learned the hard way recently that
you probably shouldn't take a concealed gun with you to
work.
Lake Worth Police Chief Brett McGuire said an employee of
a local insurance firm who thought it was a good idea to
tote a gun to work was shot in both legs when his weapon
accidentally discharged.
The police chief said the accident was likely not the
result of a planned attack by the self-wounded employee.
"He was not under any sort of disciplinary problems. There
was nothing that was coming down from management or anything
that would indicate he was facing any disciplinary charges,
and he got along well with his co-workers," McGuire said.
"We have no indication that there was anything other than a
negligent discharge on his part."
Local news said that in addition to suffering the self-in-
flicted wounds, the unidentified employee now faces charges
for unlawfully carrying a weapon.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum
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+------------------- Bizarre Holidays --------------------+
MAY
May 1 is Mother Goose Day and Save The Rhino Day
May 2 is Fire Day
May 3 is Lumpy Rug Day
May 4 is National Candied Orange Peel Day
May 5 is National Hoagie Day
May 6 is Beverage Day
For the rest of the list, go to: Bizarre News.com
p.s. The rest of the Bizarre Holidays for the month of
May will be put up soon. Please Be Patient. Thanks.
***
-------- Man found drunk in port-a-potty arrested ----------
CINCINNATI - Cincinnati police said they arrested a man
who was found passed out in a port-a-potty after he was
repeatedly warned for public drunkenness. Police said Gil
Duff, 45, was arrested early Monday morning after he was
found sleeping in the same portable lavatory in Bechtold
Park that an officer discovered him sleeping in -- with
a beer by his side -- six days earlier, The Cincinnati
Enquirer reported. The arrest report from Monday said Duff
was "found passed out and extremely intoxicated." It said
he had been warned "countless times" to stop visiting the
park while drunk, the Enquirer said. Duff was charged with
disorderly conduct while intoxicated.
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----------- Windsor mulls downtown vomit ban -----------
WINDSOR, Ontario - A proposed "anti-fouling" by-law aimed
at cleaning up the Canadian border city of Windsor, Ontario,
would make vomiting in public a fineable offense. Across
the St. Clair River from Detroit, Windsor city councilors
have been grappling with numerous late-night issues, and
the no-fouling proposal is the latest effort to burnish
the downtown core's reputation, the Windsor Star reported.
Apart from public vomiting, the proposed measure would make
public urination and littering fineable offenses, as well,
the newspaper said. In line with those, it would also
require street hotdog vendors to close up at 2 a.m., and
require all after-hours clubs to shut down by 3 a.m., the
Star said. Remo Agostino, owner of The Boom Boom Room
nightclub, told the newspaper he doesn't think the city
can legislate human digestion. "How are you going to stop
someone from throwing up?" he said. "It doesn't make any
sense."
--------- Broccoli thief frustrates garden owner -----------
KING'S SOMBORNE, England - A King's Somborne, England, man
says a thief has repeatedly entered his vegetable garden
and each time took one head of broccoli. Frank Fahy, 71,
said that although the broccoli heads are only worth about
$1 apiece, the thefts are adding up, the Daily Mail report-
ed Monday. "The net had been carefully cut over the broccoli
and the heads taken," he said. "Each time one head was
taken. They are each worth about 50p (99 cents). It is a
bit distressing." Fahy told the Daily Mail he initially
thought the disappearing vegetables were the work of a
rabbit or other small animal but an examination of
protective netting over the broccoli revealed it had been
cut with a knife. "It sounds trivial but Frank has been
the victim of theft," Parish council chairman David Bidwell
said to the newspaper. "It is very disappointing to grow
something on an allotment and have it taken away. "At first
he thought it might be a natural occurrence -- maybe a
rabbit. But on closer inspection, it was clear a knife had
been used. And rabbits don't carry knives." Police said
they are investigating the matter as a case of theft.
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---------- Non-driver, 73, gets $3,100 toll fine -----------
OAK FOREST, Ill. - A 73-year-old man who quit driving three
years ago said he was afraid when he received a bill for
$3,106 from the Illinois State Toll Highway Authority. Oak
Forest resident Michael Healy, who has an injured hip, lung
cancer and colon problems, is among at least 600,000 people
to receive bills from the tollway authority in the past few
months, the Chicago Southtownstar reported Monday. "They
scared the hell out of me," Healy said. Healy's son Jim
said he was driving the car when it blew past 150 tolls,
the report said. The tollway authority has been trying to
collect on fines for drivers who failed to pay tolls since
2006. Chicago attorney Daniel Edelman filed a class-action
suit seeking to clear 600,000 citations mailed out by the
authority. Edelman argues the drivers were billed in an
untimely manner and received unfair treatment when they
ran into busy signals trying to contact tollway authorities.
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, check out Ed Wallace - a very respected writer in the
Automotive world, has written about the fallacies in using
corn, soy, etc. as well as the 'shortage' of gasoline (there
aint one)... corky
[It is hard to say about oil shortages. In a great number
of countries that have oil-producing potential reliable geo-
logical surveys have never been done. So who knows? And while
there was the recent large discovery in the Gulf, it will be
extremely expensive to exploit. All the while vast population
centers like India and China are demanding more and more oil
daily subtracting from the over-all supply. But I would agree
that there is still room for production expansion. And with
profits in the billions of dollars for one quarter the incen-
tive is definitely there!]
For the reader who said Scotch wouldn't like being English.
I do know the Scots do not like to be called English and
have a particular name they call them. BUT, I never knew
liquor had any preferences.
[I can sympathize. I know Canadians and Americans don't like
to be confused.]
Heyas Lewis! Just wanted to say keep up the great work.
Actually, that and to say I just celebrated my Golden birth-
day yesterday! I turned 28 on the 28th. Keep up the awesome
work! --Kirsten
[It is my opinion that I can never have enough perky 28-
year-old women on my list.]
Lewis, do you live in the Denver area? I've been using your
service for a couple years, keep up the good work! --Rick
[No I don't, but I've been there several times. Beautiful
city, and lots of fun, too. Is the Wynkoop still there? I
remember they had a wonderful asiago cheese dip that I just
fell in love with.]
Hey Lewis, love your column. But if you think that your
rights aren't being taken away one by one, you really
should seek help. Read up on NAFTA-CAFTA-and FTAA and get
back with me when you realize you've been screwed by the
government machine. --Tim
[Oh, I have no illusions that I'm not getting screwed. The
question is, how to get into a position to be the screwer
instead of the screwee.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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