Publication: Bizarre News
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? | |
Subscribe FREE to Bizarre News by clicking here.
BIZARRE NEWS - Wednesday, May 16, 2007
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
------------------------------------------------------------
All of you Bizarre News fans can now get your exclusive
Bizarre News coffee mug. Supplies are limited so order yours
today for just $2.99! Official Bizarre News Mug
------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Have you seen the new show called "Are you smarter than a
5th grader?" I was reading about it online and looked up a
sample quiz to annoy you with. I listed the answers for you
below.
1. What is the fastest bird on foot?
A. Flamingo
B. Penguin
C. Emu
D. Ostrich
E. Turkey
2. What planet is closest to the sun?
A. Venus
B. Earth
C. Mercury
D. Mars
E. Jupiter
3. Which of the following is NOT one of the Great Lakes?
A. Alberta
B. Huron
C. Michigan
D. Ontario
E. Superior
4. A heptagon is a shape with how many sides?
A. 4
B. 6
C. 7
D. 8
E. 9
5. How long is one regular term for a U.S. Representative?
A. 1 year
B. 2 years
C. 3 years
D. 4 years
E. 6 years
6. What is the compound word in this sentence? -- The bus
driver took an alternate route to the airport.
A. Driver
B. Alternate
C. Route
D. Airport
7. Which of the following states is NOT on the Gulf of
Mexico?
A. Georgia
B. Texas
C. Florida
D. Alabama
E. Louisiana
8. What is the lowest prime number?
A. 0
B. 1
C. 2
D. 3
E. 5
9. On what continent is the chimpanzee's natural habitat?
A. South America
B. Asia
C. Africa
D. Australia
10. What is the largest South American country by area?
A. Argentina
B. Brazil
C. Chile
D. Mexico
E. Peru
11. Which one of the following states is NOT part of the
Four Corners?
A. New Mexico
B. Utah
C. Colorado
D. Nevada
E. Arizona
12. Who was the first person to step foot on the moon?
A. Neil Armstrong
B. Edwin 'Buzz' Aldrin
C. John Glenn
D. Sally Ride
E. Alan Shepard
13. 'Carefully' is an example of what type of word?
A. Adjective
B. Noun
C. Verb
D. Adverb
14. What animal classification is a turtle?
A. Amphibian
B. Fish
C. Reptile
D. Mammal
15. In the northern hemisphere, in what month is the
autumnal equinox?
A. August
B. September
C. October
D. November
16. Emma has 2 yard sticks. She also has a 12-inch ruler.
She laid them end-to-end in a line. How many feet long is
the line?
A. 3 Feet
B. 5 Feet
C. 7 Feet
D. 9 Feet
E. 11 Feet
17. Inca civilizations were concentrated on what continent?
A. South America
B. Africa
C. North America
D. Asia
E. Europe
18. What state is the Grand Canyon in?
A. California
B. Arizona
C. North Dakota
D. New Mexico
E. Utah
19. Who was the first president of the United States?
A. John Adams
B. Abraham Lincoln
C. Thomas Jefferson
D. George Washington
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. I got a 79 percent.
------------------------------------------------------------
+---------------- 5th Grader Quiz Answers -----------------+
1. What is the fastest bird on foot?
Answer: Ostrich
2. What planet is closest to the sun?
Answer: Mercury
3. Which of the following is NOT one of the Great Lakes?
Answer: Alberta
4. A heptagon is a shape with how many sides?
Answer: 7
5. How long is one regular term for a U.S. Representative?
Answer: 2 years
6. What is the compound word in this sentence? -- The bus
driver took an alternate route to the airport.
Answer: Airport
7. Which of the following states is NOT on the Gulf of Mexico?
Answer: Georgia
8. What is the lowest prime number?
Answer: 2
9. On what continent is the chimpanzee's natural habitat?
Answer: Africa
10. What is the largest South American country by area?
Answer: Brazil
11. Which one of the following states is NOT part of the Four
Corners?
Answer: Nevada
12. Who was the first person to step foot on the moon?
Answer: Neil Armstrong
13. 'Carefully' is an example of what type of word?
Answer: Adverb
14. What animal classification is a turtle?
Answer: Reptile
15. In the northern hemisphere, in what month is the autumnal
equinox?
Answer: September
16. Emma has 2 yard sticks. She also has a 12-inch ruler.
She laid them end-to-end in a line. How many feet long is
the line?
Answer: 7 Feet
17. Inca civilizations were concentrated on what continent?
Answer: South America
18. What state is the Grand Canyon in?
Answer: Arizona
19. Who was the first president of the United States?
Answer: George Washington
***
-------- Man Dies in Bizarre Battle Dance Accident --------
New Britain, CT - A man died while trying to outdo a rival
with an acrobatic move while "battle dancing," police said.
Robert Stitt, 48, and his rival were competing in a parking
lot when he tried a forward flip and landed on his head. "It
was just two guys dancing. Everybody was laughing," Stitt's
friend John Boxley said. Boxley said James Brown was on the
radio and Stitt wanted to outdo a rival dancer, who had
flipped in the air. Police said the victim went into cardiac
arrest and was pronounced dead a short time at a local hos-
pital. Police said several people were in the parking lot
drinking and battle dancing, a competition in which each
dancer tries one-upmanship with unique moves.
------------------------------------------------------------
Don't Be Intimidated, This Is For You...
Are you a do-it-yourselfer who wishes your projects would
be faster and easier to complete? Have you shied away from
buying a cordless drill or screwdriver because you weren’t
sure which one was right, or the cost was just too high?
We have the PERFECT solution... It's the Cordless 18 Volt
Drill & Driver with Accessory Set. Perfect for any job,
we've slashed the price to make it affordable for anyone
and everyone. Save $15 off retail, pay just $24.99.
This powerful drill & driver puts out 550 RPMs and comes with
the charger, drill bits, various screwdriver bits, a magnetic
extension bit to help with hard to reach jobs and a custom,
molded storage case to hold and organize everything.
This drill is everything you need to get those jobs done
quickly and easily so you can spend more time admiring your
own handiwork. Remember, you can get all this for $24.99.
Cordless 18 Volt Drill & Driver with Accessory Set
------------------------------------------------------------
---------------- One-limbed driver arrested ----------------
New Port Richey, FL - A man who lost three limbs in a child-
hood accident and went on to become the Tampa, Fla., area's
most notorious bad driver is jailed in lieu of $500,000 bond.
Michael Wiley was arrested Wednesday morning, the day after
he led police on a high-speed chase. He was charged with
eluding police and habitual driving with a revoked license.
Wiley taught himself to drive in spite of having both arms
and one leg amputated. But he has had his license suspended
or revoked about 20 times in the last two decades. The chase
began when a police officer in New Port Richey spotted Wiley
at a convenience store. When the officer approached, Wiley
drove off. Police officers gave up the chase after half an
hour because they feared it would endanger other drivers or
pedestrians.
----------- Nude woman rescued from cold waters -----------
San Francisco - Passengers and crew of a California ferry
saved the life of a woman who apparently foundered in cold
waters, and was naked when they pulled her out. The woman,
whose name was not released, was pulled from the water by
ferry crew after alert passengers spotted her and informed
the captain. Coast Guard Petty Officer Dorian Jackson said
the woman had apparently been suffering a psychotic episode
when she threw herself into the water. She told a doctor
after the rescue that she jumped into the water while
"under duress." "If she went in at 10 p.m. (Monday) night,
it's a miracle that she lived," Jackson said. "The usual
survival time under those conditions is three hours, so
she's really lucky."
------------------------------------------------------------
DESKTOP CARRY-ALL... Organize Your Life!
Keeps everything you need at your fingertips. Conveniently
designed to be carried from desk to garage or from room to
room. Made of sturdy polyester that's wrapped around a
steel frame. This incredible 9 ¼" x 6"x 4" organizer has
six (6) side pockets and a large middle compartment that
keeps everything neat and within reach. Folds to just 3/4"
for travel or storage.
*----> Perfect for: Home, Office or School <----*
Get one Desktop Carry-All for just $5.99... or save $4.00
and get two for $7.98.
Organize Your Life with The Desktop Carry-All
------------------------------------------------------------
-------------- Chicago Man Invents Pizza Beer --------------
St. Charles, IL - Leave it to a hometown boy. Chicago sub-
urbanite Tom Seefurth has invented his own, home-brewed
pizza beer. Building on the idea that since pizza and beer
taste so good together they must taste even better in the
same bottle, Tom has created a beer that has real slices
of pizza added, right into the brewing process. Gross? Yes.
Insane? Probably. But somebody other than Tom himself
believes in the idea. For a limited time you can try some
'Mama Mia' beer at Walter Payton's Roundhouse in Aurora.
If it flies there...who knows? And if you can't make it out
to Aurora you can always experiment yourself at home with a
blender.
------------------------------------------------------------
4-PIECE MULTI-PURPOSE TOOL KIT
Store Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99 or as low as $5.99
This is one of those items EVERY ONE should have... and we've
made it affordable so that anyone can. It's not only extremely
functional... it's very cool. You can take on just about any
job that pops up with this Multi-Purpose Tool Kit. No home,
car, boat or office should be without it. Here's what you get:
- One (1) 30 in 1 Multi-Purpose Pliers (12pc bits & 1pc socket)
- One (1) 5 in 1 Key Chain Pocket Knife
- One (1) 3 in 1 Pocket Knife
- One (1) 2" Locking Knife
- Bonus Pouch that can be worn on belt and stores nicely
Plus you can save an additional $4.00 (a total of $16.00) when
you buy two kits... Just $11.98. It makes a wonderful gift.
4-PIECE MULTI-PURPOSE TOOL KIT
------------------------------------------------------------
Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored
------------------------------------------------------------
GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Should the Constitution be amended to allow Arnold Schwarzen-
egger to run for President?
Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, did you see this one... "A 22-year-old man has been
accused of stealing a tractor trailer containing $250,000
worth of Skittles candy. The truck was to have contained a
total of 28 pallets of Skittles, but seven were missing,
said Dallas police Senior Cpl. Donna Hernandez." -Shelby
[All police need to do is follow the rainbow, I would think.]
Lewis, your news is always enjoyable or disgusting, either
one is very readable. When I see pictures of matadors
betting hurt I say "Gotcha. Goodie." I think it should be
outlawed along with any other sport that relies on an animal
getting hurt or killed for people's enjoyment. Maybe just
put a bunch of people that enjoy that stuff in the ring with
spears and knives and let them fight it out until only one
is standing. That way the people that enjoy it so much can be
the ones suffering for it. -catt
[You'd make a great ancient Roman, catt.]
Lewis, what do the letters "MILF" stand for?
[If you're asking me they stand for "Maybe I'll Lie down For-
awhile."]
Dear Lewis; So you think somebody who chases squirrels with
a ball point pen has issues. They need to use a Bic pen,
ball points are more expensive. -Nancy
[For really satisfying squirrel-chasing you have to use a
ball point.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do? Send
comments and questions to: Email Lewis
------------------------------------------------------------
Not Enough Bizarre In This Issue? Then Visit: www.EVTV1.com
To see more issues like this visit: Bizarre News Archives
MORE FUN, AMUSEMENT AND PUBS: http://www.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------
END OF BIZARRE NEWS
http://www.bizarrenews.com
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
 E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Bizarre News by clicking here.
|